Chapter Twelve

Mackenzie’s POV

            “This is not happening. It’s a month early! Anya’s not ready. Conner’s at least average size. They can’t come now. I’m not even ready. There’s so much that needs to be done still. I don’t have their coming home outfits picked out. I don’t even have their laundry done or their bedding washed.” I whisper to Adrianna in the back of Mama Rivera’s SUV.

            “Cálmate. Shhh. Everything will be fine, Kenz.”

            “No, I-I-I can’t calm down. Their car seats aren’t set up. The stroller is still packed away.”

            “Is that why you didn’t say anything? Honey, you couldn’t have planned when they wanted to come. You told me yesterday that you were letting them decide. Well, they decided. You shouldn’t have come to the party. Mackenzie, something could have happened.” I am leaning back against her with my legs up across the back seat. Her arms are around me and I feel safe, nervous, but safe.

            “I didn’t know it was really labor until around the time Mychal and I took Autumn over to the swing set. I thought it was just really bad Braxton Hicks. What time is it?”

            “It’s just after seven. How close are your contractions?” I relax more into her after another contraction ends.

            “Not that close. Probably around ten minutes still. We don’t need to go to the hospital until they’re around four minutes apart, I thought.” I say nervously. I don’t want to sound dumb, but I swear that’s what they told me.

            “But you’re going into labor over a month early, Mackenzie. We’re not taking any chances.” Mama states from the driver’s seat. “Until they tell us to bring you home, we’re going to be there. Your sister  called Dr. Emmi and she’s already there. She said she’ll check you out and we’ll go from there.”

            The rest of the car ride is relatively quiet. The car is packed as full as it can be with Mama, Lorena, Naya, Heather, Lea, Ade, and me. Papí and Mychal decided to stay back with Ade’s family until we figure out more. When we finally arrive at the hospital, I refuse to let go of Ade’s hand. She’s been through this before. I trust her in every way right now and I’m not letting her leave my side. Luckily, Naya is more understanding and more patient with Adrianna and her and Heather move to walk behind us.

            “Mackenzie Jackson is checking in. Dr. Emmi already knows.” Mama speaks quietly to the receptionist while the rest of us sit down and wait for a room. “Okay, Kenzie, you’re going to have to fill all this out while they get a room for you.” She hands me a clipboard with a packet of papers on it. I look up and offer a weak smile and she beams back at me. “I’m so proud of you.” She places a delicate kiss on my forehead.

            “Thank you.” I reply softly.

            “Girls, watch her and if she gets room before we come back, text us. Lorena and I are going to go get some coffee for everyone. It’s going to be a long night.”

            Adrianna is sitting on my left side and Naya is on my right. Lea and Heather are sitting across from us. It takes me around ten minutes to fill out the packet and Naya brings it back up to the receptionist. We wait another ten minutes or so before I get called back to a room.

            “Okay, you don’t have to change into a gown until Dr. Emmi checks you and officially admits you to the hospital, so you’re good to just wait in here. She’s with another patient right now and then she’ll be here.” The older nurse informs us with a big smile. I sit on the bed and everyone else situates themselves around the room.

            “I’ll text mom and let her know what room we’re in. Do you need anything, Kenz?”

            “No thanks, sissy. I’m okay right now.”

            Naya pulls her phone out and sits on the couch next to Heather, the blonde pulling her legs to rest on her lap. They really are a cute couple. I hope they can officially tell people soon, I know how much it sucks to try and keep a relationship a secret.

            I look towards the clock and see the time. 8:13 pm. “Four more hours.” I whisper more towards myself. Adrianna tilts her head in question, but I just smile back and shake my head for her not to worry. The room is relatively quiet aside from Lea talking on the phone, updating Mychal and our families back at the house.

            Around 8:30, Dr. Emmi walked in with Mama and Lorena. The mothers passed out coffee to everyone else while Dr. Emmi made introductions to the room. She already knows Mama, Naya, and Lea and I assume she met Lorena outside. “Good evening everyone! I heard we all just came from a party. Hope you all enjoyed yourself.”

            “We did. It was Adrianna’s daughter’s first birthday party.” I tell her, motioning to Adrianna sitting next to the bed. “This is Adrianna. Adrianna, this is Dr. Emmi.”

            “Nice to meet you.”

            “You as well!”

            “And, Dr. Emmi, that is Heather, Naya’s.. friend?” I slightly question my sister and she subtly nods her head that I introduced her correctly. Even though Dr. Emmi and her staff have signed confidentiality papers, due to my family’s status, you don’t want to slip up and give someone something to give the media.

            They shake hands hello and Dr. Emmi turns towards me. “So, we’re a little early, huh? Let’s check you out and make sure it’s all really happening, not that I don’t believe you all, but just double check to see how far you are, okay?”

            I nod my head and start to situate myself so Dr. Emmi can check things out. Mama and Naya jump up to help me and the other four women move to the other side of the curtain towards the door and wait until I’m lying back on the bed. After she’s done checking, Dr. Emmi speaks up again. “Okay, so you’re only about three centimeters dilated and Baby B still hasn’t turned down, but that doesn’t mean you’re in the clear yet. Let’s hook up some monitors and listen to the babies to make sure everything is good inside. How far along are contractions?” She asked while throwing away her gloves and starting to set up the monitors.

            “I’m having them about every ten minutes or so, they aren’t always the same.” After listening to the heartbeats, I feel myself begin to calm down knowing that things are okay.

            “Okay, I think I’m going to admit you just to keep the monitors on and to make sure nothing changes. I know you don’t want to be induced, so we will not be giving you anything, but an IV fluid drip. Feel free to walk around the hospital wing to move things along, I have a feeling though these babies are going to be coming soon. Definitely before dawn!” She sounds so happy, but I know that everyone else in the room is worried. Hell, I’m worried too. They are only at thirty-five weeks.

            Even though everyone told me not to worry throughout the pregnancy, I at least did my research. Twins born after a stressful pregnancy. Twins born early. Twins born naturally versus C-section. I researched a lot and twins born at thirty-five weeks pretty much have a 50/50 chance of being healthy. While I’m not so much worried about Conner, because he’s already turned down and of average size. Anya isn’t. She’s still turned up and is the average size of thirty to thirty-two weeks.

            Dr. Emmi leaves the room and, almost collectively, everyone lets out a breath of air. The monitors got turned off until I get into a gown and get everything hooked back up. This is going to suck.

Naya’s POV

            “Heather, you don’t have to stay here with us. I can take you home.” I tell her as we sit in the hospital cafeteria. We’ve both been nursing our coffees since Dr. Emmi told us the news about an hour ago. Lea had gone to wait with Mychal at our parents’ house. Lorena went home as well to help get Autumn to bed. Mom and Adrianna decided to stay with Mackenzie in her room while she rested.

            “Naya, I’m not leaving. Mackenzie has become like a sister to me. She has been to all of us. We’ve all been with her throughout this whole pregnancy, so I’m not leaving. Hell, half of our friends want to come and camp out here until the babies come.” She chuckles and I wish we went in public right now so I could kiss her. Hiding all this from the public really has been hard and I know that a lot of people already suspect things, but this has been the best for us. Just getting a feel for things without the pressures of our careers being put on the line.

            “Thank you. So much. For everything. And please, just tell me they aren’t coming. The media probably already has word of something happening, if they all show up, the paps will be ready and waiting outside.”

            “No. No one’s coming to the hospital at all. Your mom informed everyone that they will see the babies once everyone is settled at home. Dianna and Lea aren’t too happy about that though. Maybe just they can come? They’re our best friend and Kenz is close to them too.”

            “We’ll see. I’m not sure having that many people in the room will be good, but we can ask. My mom would be pissed if we invited them without telling her or Kenzie, so let’s go talk to them first before we say anything to them.”

            While we walk silently to the elevator, a lot of thoughts are running around in my head, but everything leaves when the elevator doors shut and Heather pulls me into a soft kiss. The kind that she knows will clear my head and I needed that. I smile into it and she pulls away slowly.

            “Thank you.” I whisper.

            “What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”

            “I’m just nervous for her. This is all happening quicker than she planned and you know how she can get when things don’t go by her plan. You heard her in the car, things at the house aren’t done, so I know she’s worried. She doesn’t have any clothes for her or the twins. The car seats aren’t in the car. She’s freaking out and when Kenz freaks out, things can get messy in my family.”

            “It’ll be okay. Hopefully, she has the babies soon and you and I can personally go take care of things for her.”

            “No. I mean, okay, about taking care of things, but no. She can’t have the babies tonight, it’ll crush her. I know she doesn’t want them tonight, which is probably another reason she’s stressed out.”

            She stops us about four rooms down from my sister’s and stands me still with her hands on my shoulders. “Okay, you need to calm down. She’s not going to be calm if she sees her big sister freaking out. You have every right to be nervous, but you cannot show her that. Right now, she needs to focus on herself and the twins. It’s already after ten o’clock. Why don’t we lay down in her room for a while so you can calm down. Kenz is asleep anyways.”

            I nod my head and we silently finish making our way to the room.

Mama Rivera’s POV

            “Adrianna, why don’t you and I talk outside?” I whisper to the young brunette as to not wake anyone. Kenzie is still asleep and Naya and Heather have fallen asleep on the couch as well. The two of us walk quietly down the hall to an empty lounge. “How are you doing?”

            “I’m fine, nervous for Kenzie, but that’s all.”

            “You’re definitely not alone in that. I know I’m nervous, but everything will be fine. Naya is probably more nervous than Mackenzie, but you now understand why. Naya has never handled her sister’s stress well.”

            “Heather’s good for her though. I can tell that Heather calms her down more and gets her to see the brighter side of things. I know, because Kenzie does the same thing for me. They look at the world differently. It’s nice.” Adrianna looks at me with a small smile playing on her lips. “Can I ask you something?”

            “Anything.”

            “Do you know why Kenz is freaking out over the time tonight. She’s counting down to midnight. In the car she asked me what time it was and she kept looking at the clock until she finally fell asleep.”

            This confuses me, because I honestly can’t think of any reason that she would be counting down. “Well, Mackenzie is all about numbers and counting, as you know. Who knows? It’s probably just something she has stuck in her head. Maybe she’s told Naya, but if not, when she’s ready, she’ll tell us.”

            The two of us sit in silence again until Adrianna speaks up. “I’m really happy to have her back in my life. I honestly can’t remember why I let her go in the first place. It was so dumb of me. If I had just fought her decision to break up, none of us would be in the situations we’re in now. She wouldn’t have gotten hurt. She’d still have her fami-.”

            “Now, stop right there. You can’t change the past, so don’t even think about what would have been different if you could, because guess what? If you hadn’t broken up, Autumn wouldn’t be here. Conner and Anya wouldn’t be here. Mackenzie’s family would probably still be gone, because you know they were never accepting of her being with you. Don’t think about what you would change in the past. Think about how you’re going to shape your future. Together.”

            I can tell that what I’m saying is clicking in her head, because she’s listening intently. “Now, I know your parents had doubts, but after today when Autumn was crying, I don’t think any of us could honestly tell you that we don’t think you two should be together. You have both been through so much, together and apart. Your futures are going to be so bright and you both are going to raise an amazing family. I’m not saying rush into anything, okay? You both still need your own time and space, but I do believe that those babies are going to be growing up with an older sister.”

            Before I knew it, I felt arms hugging me tight. “Thank you.”

            “You’re welcome, sweet girl. Now, let’s get back before Kenzie wakes up.”

            As we’re walking back, I can tell that Adrianna is processing everything that I just told her and everything that she already knows is true. She’s quiet and chewing on her lip, which I remember Mackenzie telling me was a sign of her being lost in thought. I keep quiet and let her think and just before we enter the room, she pulls me into another hug. This time, giving me room to wrap my arms around her as well.

            “I’m really glad to have you back too, Mama Rivera. I missed you.”

            “I missed you too, sweet girl. We all did.”

Adrianna’s POV

            “Hello everyone, my name is.. oh man. You’re.. You’re Naya Rivera and Heather Morris. Oh my gosh. I am such a huge fan!” The young nurse gushes towards the other Latina and her secret girlfriend.

            I am glad Mama Rivera and Heather are here, because I can tell Naya is on edge tonight and they are able to calm her before she explodes on the poor nurse.

            “Sarah, do not. You are not helping up. Out!” I growl out. The blonde nurse frowns then scowls at me before leaving the room. “I am going to find my supervisor.” I say calmly. “That girl is a gossip queen. I’ll be sure she’s handled before anything gets out. I’ll be back. Do you need anything, babe?” My girlfriend just shakes her head briefly before glancing at the clock.

            “I think I am going to try and sleep again. Thanks for taking care of that girl though.” I nod my head in reply and place a soft kiss to her lips. It ends far too quickly for me though. I want to be able to show her all my love and support and I want her to feel it. I can see the worry behind her eyes, but just like Yolanda said, she’ll tell us what’s bothering her when she’s ready. I just hope something gives soon.

AGMJAGMJAGMJ

            12:03. At least when Kenz wakes up she’ll be able to stop worrying.

            “Oh, thank God!” Naya wakes up and whispers. I look over and see her looking at the clock. Before I can ask anything, her mom asks the question we’ve both been wondering.

            “Are you or your sister ever going to tell us why you both were counting down? You’ve both been nervous, clock-stalking wrecks since we got here.” She asks quietly enough to not wake up Mackenzie.

            For the first time in a long time, Naya looks nervous. For a couple moments, I don’t think she’s going to say anything, but as soon as she opens her mouth, Mackenzie lets out a loud moan.

            “Oww! Big contraction! Oww! Something’s not right!” She cries out, tears instantly falling down her face.

            The heartbeat monitors start going wild with noise and it breaks my heart that I know what’s happening. My stomach instantly drops, but I take a deep breath and rush to her side to hold her hand. Within seconds, the other three woman are at her side as well. Nurse Nancy, a nurse that has been in this ward since before Kenz and I were born, rushes in and moves Heather and I away for her to check the charts. She quickly presses a button to the nurses desk and the look on her face confirms my fears.

            “What’s going on?” Kenzie pants out to me with a panic stricken face. It breaks my heart all over and I just wish I could take her fear and pain away right now, because she doesn’t deserve more of either. Babies are supposed to be joyous, not a scary experience like this is about to turn into.

            “It looks like Baby B’s heart rate has slowed. These babies need to come out now, but you’re not dilated enough to deliver naturally. I’m sorry, honey, but we need to prep for an emergency C-section.” Nancy doesn’t even look like she could have said it any better than that, because she, herself, helped deliver Mackenzie and has been friends with the Jacksons throughout the years. She knows how Mackenzie is. Her personality. Her light.

            “No. No. The plan all along was that I was going to have my babies naturally. That’s the plan. That’s th-.” Mackenzie’s tearful rant was cut off by Yolanda’s calming voice. Even in all the chaos now occurring in the room, she focuses on her mama’s voice.

            “Baby girl, I know this is scary and I know it’s not what you planned, but if you don’t get a C-section, Anya and Conner are going to be in danger and so will you. We need you to try and calm down. Deep breaths. I know it’s scary, but this is happening. I will be there the whole time holding your hand. Okay?”

            Mackenzie silently nods her head while more tears escape her eyes. I quickly place my left hand over her chest and place her right hand to mine. When we lock eyes, even if it was just for a split second, I could see the calm behind her panic-filled eyes. I silently ask her if she wants me in the room and, while it pains me, I understand when she slowly shakes her head in response.

            “Okay, I’ll wait here with Naya and Heather. We’ll all be here when you get out. Can’t wait to meet those babies.” She gives me a small smile before giving me a kiss and exchanging ‘see you laters’ and ‘I love yous’ with Naya and Heather. “Now… we wait.” The three of us sit down while Mackenzie is wheeled out of the room.

Mackenzie’s POV

            It’s so bright in here. This is not at all going how I wanted it to. I was supposed to be in my room with the lights dimmed with my family and Adrianna. Not in an operating room. I just want to know why something went wrong. We went hours without any problems and now this. What’s wrong and why can’t they tell me?

            “What time is it?” I didn’t get a chance to look at the clock and now we’re sitting in the operating room, I’m laying here and they’re hooking me up to oxygen and some other machines. Please, just let it be after midnight.

            “It’s after twelve, baby. Stop worrying about the time now.” Mama tells me quietly before placing a kiss to my forehead and I can literally feel the weight being lift from my shoulders. It’s probably less than five minutes later, but it feels like a lifetime when I hear, through a fog, Doctor Emmi telling me I might feel pressure.

            She’s right. Holy s**t! Even with the medicine, it is just the weirdest feeling. I wish I could see more though. Not the surgery, but I can just see a bright light, the mesh screen, and mama looking over it. I gently squeeze her hand and she looks down at me.

            “Everything is going fine. It’ll be over before you know it.”

            “Okay, here’s one… and it’s your boy! He’s a handsome one, Mackenzie!” I assume a nurse held him up for mama to get a quick picture.

            I feel the tears leave my eyes when I hear his cry fill the room. Not a loud one, but a more uncomfortable one. I don’t blame him for being upset that someone took him out of his warm, water bed. I start to feel a little more pressure while Doctor Emmi maneuvers Anya.

            “The umbilical cord is wrapped around her neck, Mackenzie. I need to rotate her to get the cord off. Okay? Here we go.”

            One.. Two.. Three.. Four.. Five.. Six..

            “Here she is!”

            There’s no cry heard. The room is void of any human voices. Even Conner is quiet now.

            “She’s blue. She needs her airways cleared and oxygen right away.” I hear Doctor Emmi tell a nurse and my heart skipped a beat. My baby girl. “Okay, Mackenzie. We will take care of her. It’ll be okay. She’s just a little blue, because the lack of oxygen, but she’ll be okay. We’re going to deliver the placenta and stitch you back up.”

            I don’t really register what the doctor is saying, but just focusing on hearing for my baby’s cry. I need to hear her cry. I faintly start to hear some monitors go off. Hopefully those will make her better. Why can’t I just see my babies?

            “Mackenzie.” I force my eyes open, even though it feels like weights are pushing them closed. “Mackenzie, can you hear me?” My eyes voluntarily close, but I am pretty sure I’m nodding my head. “Baby, stay with us. Listen to me, baby.” I open my eyes enough to see mama’s eyes tear up before everything stops.

Adrianna’s POV

            “What’s going on? How’s Mackenzie? The babies? Are they okay?” Naya rushes to her mom when the older woman walks back into the room, the look on her face grim. The older Latina’s eyes are rimmed red and I know she’s been crying. My whole world stops and I sit back down before she speaks.

            “Umm.. C-Conner is fine. He’ll b-be fine. Anya, she, umm, the c-cord was wrapped around her n-neck and she wasn’t bre-breathing when she was born. They had to give her oxygen and she’s okay now. They are both in humidicribs though, because they aren’t regulating their temperatures.” Yolanda walks over to the side of the bed and sits down. Her eyes wide and I am terrified. Literally, dreading what she’s going to say. Something went wrong in the operating room and if the babies are fine.. it’s Mackenzie.

            “Mom.. what about Kenzie?” Naya’s voice quiet and wary. She knows too. It’s going to crush her. Yolanda looks up at her oldest daughter, tears streaming down her face. At just the sight, Naya’s knees give out. Luckily, Heather was there to catch her. A deafening scream escapes her lips and all I want to do is the same. No, I want to do more. I want to punch something. I want to break something.

            When is enough? Enough pain. Enough sadness. When does it end?

            “I don’t know, honey.” I look up and Yolanda is holding her eldest tightly on the floor; rocking her, just like she would have done when her girls were younger and scraped their knees playing outside. “They took me out of the room, because after the delivery Mackenzie l-lost more blood than expected and she went into shock. They told me everything would be fine once they got the bleeding stopped, but I wasn’t allowed to stay in there.”

            The room stays in this state for another twenty minutes. Heather and I silently pacing the room. Yolanda and Naya huddled together on the floor; the mother whispering positive sentiments to her daughter. It continued uninterrupted until Doctor Emmi walks into the room at almost two o’clock. All four of us quickly wiping the tears from our cheeks and rushing to her for answers.

            “Please..” Yolanda pleads.

            “Mackenzie is fine.” A collective sigh is shed from the room and Yolanda has a smile, albeit small. “She’s stabilized, but still under strong anesthesia. They are taking her off of it right now and will be wheeling her back here. Since it’s a private room, she won’t need to be in the recovery ward. She’s going to be exhausted though, so don’t be surprised if she sleeps for the next couple hours.”

            “And Conner and Anya?” Naya questions, her hand gripping onto Heather’s as if it were a vice.

            “They are both in the NICU. Some basic, newborn tests are being run at the moment and a nurse will be in when they’re done to let you know when you can see them.”

            “Thank you, Em.” Yolanda hugs the doctor, both exchanging grateful smiles.

            “I’ll be back in a couple hours to check on things.”

            The four of us all take a deep breath, both cleansing us from the worries of the delivery, but preparing ourselves for what is to come. Conner and Anya aren’t in the clear yet. Mackenzie is going to need a lot of help recovering from the surgery, as well.

            “What time were they born?” Naya’s voice bringing me out of my musings. I look over to the other three woman sitting across from me on the couch. I sit back in the recliner and attempt to relax my muscles a little until Mackenzie comes back.

            “Conner was born first. He was four pounds, two ounces. Sixteen and a half inches long. He was born at 12:31. Anya was only three pounds, three ounces. Thirteen inches long. Born at 12:33.” Yolanda answers quietly while pulling her phone out of her bag. “Have any of you talked to anyone at the Guerilla’s or home?”

            “I talked to papí a couple minutes after you and Mackenzie went to the OR. Mychal and Lea are staying there tonight.”

            “And I talked to my parents as well. My whole family is still at their house waiting to hear anything. Should I call and tell them or wait?”

            “Call your parents and let them know what’s going on so far. If they want to come, that’s fine, but I think other visitors should wait until Mackenzie wakes up later and we know a little more about the babies. I’m going to tell George the same thing. I’ll go a little later to sort things out at her house. She’s going to need a lot of help for the next month or so.”

            I leave the room and walk down to a deserted visiting area to call my parents and tell them everything that’s happened in the last hour. I feel bad leaving Autumn there longer, but she’s sleeping anyway and my parents said that they would just wait until later today to come visit. As I walk back in to the room, I see my girlfriend sleeping in bed. Naya and Heather have pulled the couch out into a bed and are quietly arranging blankets.

            Yolanda hangs up the phone before turning to her oldest daughter. “Before everything happened, you were going to tell me about the countdown. Why was it so important not to have the babies yesterday?”

            Once again, Naya breaks eye contact with her mother, suddenly looking at the ground as if she wants it to open up and suck her in. Both she and her blonde sister have been avoiding the question all night and I think Naya knows she doesn’t have a choice, but to answer now.

            “Yesterday was Heather’s birthday.” It’s so soft that I barely register it, but when I do a light goes on inside of my head. I look up to see Yolanda’s face a picture of realization as well.

            “Heather who? Because I know it wasn’t my birthday.” The tall blonde tries to lighten the mood, but doesn’t get the results she’s looking for.

            “Her mom.” I say and realize with that all the reasons Kenzie wouldn’t want the babies due on the sixteenth. “Her mom was so mean. I don’t even know all the stories of her childhood, but just the couple years I knew Mackenzie as a teenager, her mother was evil.”

            “I don’t want to talk too much about all this with Mackenzie sleeping in the room, but she just didn’t want to have the twins birthday ruined by memories of the woman who disowned her. She wanted them to have a mother who was one hundred and fifty percent committed to them.”

            “Knock knock.” A quiet voice was heard at the door, but stirred Mackenzie awake, even if just a little.

            “Hello.” She croaked out, but still tried to manage a Jackson smile, only succeeding about half way.

            “Hello, honey. Sorry to wake you. My name is Daniella, I’m a NICU nurse. I bring news about your beautiful twins.” The five of us give her our full attention before she continues. “Your mother informed us of their names, so.. Conner is a healthy baby boy. He’s four pounds, two ounces, sixteen and a half inches long. His lungs are strong and he’s already regulating his temperature. He’ll be able to move to a crib in here whenever you’re ready.”

            “And Anya? She wasn’t crying.” I move to Mackenzie’s side as I see tears roll down her cheeks. I grab her hand and place a lingering kiss to her forehead before the nurse continues.

            “Anya was much smaller. She was only three pounds, three ounces, thirteen inches long. When she was born the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck and she lost a lot of oxygen to her brain and lungs which is why she wasn’t crying. After he airways were clear and she was given oxygen, her color came back and she is breathing nice right now.”

            “Oh thank goodness.” Mackenzie exhales.

            “I’m sorry. However, she isn’t as developed as Conner is. Anya’s lungs and stomach are weak. We cannot take her off of oxygen and she needs to stay in the humidicrib for most of the day with a feeding tube. We want to try skin to skin with her when she’s stronger, because we believe that helps tremendously with development of premature babies. The other thing is that she isn’t opening her eyes fully. She will have to keep the pads on her eyes to help develop them and sensitize them to light.”

            “I won’t be able to hold her?”

            “You will. She will have to stay in the NICU though and I can’t guarantee that you’ll be able to hold her long until she does well out of the humidicrib and under a heater.”

            “Okay.”

            I can literally hear the crack of my heart with the dejected voice that comes from my girlfriend’s mouth. The nurse finishes up some final thoughts and lets us know that she’ll be bringing Conner in a few minutes, but Mackenzie doesn’t say a word. She doesn’t even nod or acknowledge anyone. She thinks she failed. And we can’t have that.

            “Kenzie, look at me.” I force her tired, defeated eyes to focus on mine while I talk to her. “You are amazing. You did everything right during that pregnancy that you could have. That b*****d knocked you up, but you didn’t let him take you down. You fought for these babies and you took care of them. You cared for them and talked to them and loved them and you are going to continue to do that. I won’t ever let you check out. Not even for a second. It’s not an option.”

            No response.

            “Do you understand me? You are going to raise two beautiful, incredibly strong kids because we all believe in you. It’s time to believe in yourself. Now, Anya is going to get stronger, because you are her mother. You’re a fighter and that means she is too. She’s going to show all those nurses that she’s a force to be reckoned with. Look at the women who love you. Mama Rivera, Naya, Lea, all your friends.. all strong women. She’s bound to exceed expectations. It’s in her genes.”

            I manage to get a small smirk to come across the blonde’s features and I run with it. My smile doubles at the sight and I am just so glad that things are going to get better. It is going to be a struggle, but the world isn’t ever as perfect as we like to think.

            “Thank you.” Mackenzie smiles before kissing my lips and I swear I’m in heaven. I don’t think I’ll ever tire of kissing this girl. We break apart at the sound of a knock at the door. All five of us look towards a small crib all fluffy and blue, not plastic and white like the ones I’ve seen in the rest of the ward. This just tells me that someone, probably Naya, wanted to make sure her sister and niece and nephew got the best of everything.

            As the nurse lifts Conner up to hand off to Kenz, none of us can see his face. She walks the cooing child to his mother and places the mess of blue blankets in her arms. I see her wince slightly with the pain at her stomach, but her features melt when she looks at her son. It’s an amazing feeling: seeing your child for the first time. The amount of love, adoration, the feeling of protection, and then the calm that quickly washes over you as you take in every feature and movement made.

            “Hi, baby boy. Hello Conner. You are so handsome and so tiny. Your sister is even tinier. Do you miss her already? We’ll go visit her in a little bit.” The baby in her arms calmly looking at his mother. Taking her voice in and lulling himself to sleep. No fussing or crying. “Are you hungry, baby boy?”

            Mackenzie relents and passes Conner to Mama Rivera to hold while she talks with the lactation nurse. Naya fusses over him while Yolanda holds him and he is still so calm. Just taking everything in, listening to everyone. After moving onto her side, the nurse positions Conner onto the bed and he latches on almost instantly.

            I’m content standing next to the bed watching Kenzie watch Conner when I body slightly bump into my side, surprisingly it’s Naya.

            “Thank you.” She tells me softly, not wanting to ruin the moment in front of us between mother and son. “She needed to hear all that. Not just that Anya was going to be okay, but also that she is and will be a good mother. She didn’t exactly have the greatest example growing up.”

            “Sure she did. Your mom.”

            “Yea, but you know.. we’re her family and all, but they’re blood. They’re her real family. It’s different.”

            “Family isn’t always blood. It’s the people in your life who want you in theirs; the ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who do anything to see you smile and who love you no matter what. I know a certain mother who meets that criteria for her.” I glance at Yolanda who’s watching us, smiling. “Know a sister?”

            I’m not going to lie, it’s weird knowing that Naya, who hated me the last five years up until a couple months ago, is voluntarily hugging me. A long hug too. Okay, maybe I should reciprocate in some way instead of standing here looking shocked. Heather, Yolanda, and even Mackenzie are giggling at the exchange, but the other brunette is not letting go.

            “Thank you so much.” She finally pulls away with tears in her eyes, but a grateful smile on her face. “It was always a fear of mine, you know? To be replaced in her life. We’re sisters and I was always so scared to think of someone taking her from me or her moving onto someone she loved more.”

            “I’m right here you know? Silly ducks. Talking about me like I can’t hear you.” Mackenzie attempts to giggle, but her stomach not allowing it.

            “I’m sorry, sissy. I was more just talking about my fears, but your girl here really does know how to talk.” Her infamous smirk gracing her features.

            “Well, I could never replace you. Ade’s right. You’re my family. Now, come over here and get your nephew. I know you’ve been dying to hold him.”

            Luckily the next hour went by without any mishaps. Mackenzie fell asleep just minutes after Naya got Conner. The two of them sat with Heather on the couch until Heather fell asleep and Naya asked if I could take him, seeing as her mother was dozing off on the recliner.

            I pick up the tiny boy from her arms and move to pace the floor. He is sleeping now and just looks so peaceful. His blonde hair wispy and thin. His features really do resemble Mackenzie in almost every way, except he has more of a round face whereas hers is oval. I cannot wait until we can see Anya. The nurses brought pictures for us until Mackenzie wakes up to go see her, but pictures are not the same as in person.

            I move to sit next to Kenz on the bed, since she is on her side there is a little bit of room for me to sit back with Conner. Looking over this little boy, I can literally see our future together. All of us. Myself, Mackenzie, Autumn, Conner, and Anya. I can no longer picture my life without them in it; which some might find scary, but for me it feels like a puzzle piece just clicked. This is right. This is my new normal.

Author's Note

Honestly, I'm in such a slump with this story and I haven't been able to write in it for about two years, but it's a goal of mine to finish, because it's the first thing I've ever written. Any constructive reviews could help or anything that would be cool to write about in future chapters. Thanks!