An Apology

I wrote this poem to my brother, in my sophomore year(2012). I did not give it to him but did post it on Facebook hoping he would say something.

An Apology

I am sorry for annoying you,
I just wanted to be with you.
You are never there,
So when you are I just get so excited.
I will try to calm down,
But dreadful thoughts come to mind.

I am sorry for attacking you with words,
It's just I have not seen you for so long.
I want to show you the things I made,
But it seems like you do not car.
I would like to hangout some time,
But it looks like you have someone else to be with.

I am sorry for ignoring you,
But the lovey dove you is making me mad.
I'll take the dogs out for a walk,
So I will not have to see you two together.
And when I think about it,
Those dreadful thoughts come crawling back again.

I am sorry for glaring at you,
But I do not like it when you two are together.
She has taken you from me,
And I can't do anything about it.
I have tried, seriously,
But it seems like you have not gotten the hints.

I am sorry for hurting you,
It's just you are not listening.
Those dreadful thoughts just came to me,
So I did as they told.
I knew it would hurt you,
But I just could not take it anymore.

I am sorry for worrying you,
But I did tell you I cold do it at any moment.
You pushed my mind o its maximum load,
And it exploded on me.
My mind panicked,
So I took a sharp object.

I am sorry I am in the hospital,
But you did this to me.
My skin was so thin,
That it did not take to long.
And when I woke you you were right there,
Tears escaping you eyes,
Your attention on me.

I am sorry for everything,
But I m grateful for you.
I am still alive today,
Because you came into my room.
You saved my life,
But not my mind.

I am sorry for what you have seen,
The blood stains your mind,
And knife its your thoughts.
My sleeping body,
Ling on the floor.
The wrist that once worked,
Still does but not as good.

Author's Note

I wrote this in my freshmen year of high school, when my brother had started to date in now wife. I did hurt myself but could not take the pain when I did. I did not go to the hospital, I never hurt myself that much. Writing helped me take the pain away.

Reviews

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Very honest and beautiful creation. Sound almost like prayer . Words are well put together. Form is very clear and precise.