You Fool

I think it's self explanatory.

The Bad decisions people make, some are obvious. Some only the person making them know, but do they know they are bad? The choice between bad and good, isn't that just a matter of opinion? Granted most know that breaking the law is a bad decision, but do they care? These people care right? No, their bad decision has turned to a addiction, the word determination even comes to mind. Breaking the law is not the only bad decision, putting off responsibilities, going for that guy that you know is bad for you.
“They are not the same,” you say, “you don't get your heart broken by skipping an assignment”. A bad decision is a bad decision you could have prevented that broken heart. But you fell in love with him before you knew he was bad for you. But you stayed with him after he made his own bad decisions.
“I thought he would change,” you said. You lied to yourself when he apologized. You said, “He’ll change this is the last time.” But after the fourth time? What changed? Why did you decide to let go then?
“I was tired of getting hurt.” you say. But the truth is you were tired the second time. So I ask again what changed? I’ll tell you what changed, you thought the whole time you were with him that he was the perfect guy, which he is in some ways. You loved him and you thought that if you loved him hard enough he would change, but it never happened. Your friends told you to end it, your family and even your mind, but every time you saw his face your heart would quite those around you.
Your best friend knew he was bad news, but she saw the look in your eyes when he looked at you, when he held you, when he kissed you. So she just held her tongue, but sometimes she couldn’t. You both would argue, and you would cry knowing she was right. She would try to hold you but you would just push her away not being able to deal with the truth you have been pushing back for so long.
You would confront him, you would fight. He would show up at the end of your driveway and as soon as you saw the desperation in his eyes you couldn’t hold your composure that you had been trying to build up for this moment. You would break down and the tears would burn your already raw eyes, he would grab you and plead for forgiveness, every time. He would tell you the lie you have heard many times from him. You would cry more staining his shoulder with your tears. You would look up at him and his eyes would be watery, on the verge of crying.
You knew he loved you every one saw how different he acted with you. Even his dad could see it, the love he had for you was real and genuine. He would hold you tighter as you cried forever it seemed like. He would hold your chin up still holding you in his arms and kiss you to try and make it better. It worked, it always did. Deep down you knew this was a bad decision but you couldn’t help yourself you loved him there was no denying this.
But that agonizing week, when you were supposed to be enjoying your week off of school, you spent the majority of it in bed crying over the forth bad decision he had made. You decided to end it with him. Not because you were tired, but because someone showed you the pain he was causing you. They forced you to look in the mirror and see that tears had basically became apart of your cheeks.They showed you that you deserved better.
Then again, the person who showed you, betrayed you as well. “How could i trust them,” you ask, “how could i trust anyone after that? I had lost too many people.” This was no news to you, another person turning their back on you, using you for their own personal gain. But after you have been building your self up from the pain and suffering he caused you for those six months after that regretful week, he tells you he misses you. You tried to push it off but you couldn't. Those feelings, that love surfaced in you. The daemon you tried to drown you call love finally learned how to swim. And you allowed it to. “I still love you” he said. “I've always loved you” your heart says. All you could hear in your head after saying that sentence was “You fool.”

Author's Note

~enjoy my pain~