Scared Of Me

Look what you have done to me.

Or look what I've done to myself.

Myself is gone and I can't breathe.

Not yet sure if I should scream for help.

I am so scared of me.

Would anyone even want to help?

I was always there when they needed me.

But I am just the burden that is myself...

I needed you to never leave me.

I guess you're scared of me too.

The world never wants around someone in strife.

So I smile and give you everything you like.

That is my job, to only give you delight.

Take it all as I hold on for dear life.

This pain could all end with the point of a knife.

This thought terrifies me...

I've lived my whole life just to make you smile.

But you ripped away the soul I once had.

This is not like me; sick of the mental trial.

Seeing you all laugh used to make me glad.

But you've made me scared of me.

I do not want to go.

But you don't care if I stay.

Why should I stay if I'm alone?

Without any love my world is gray.

My brain keeps arguing...

I used to be scared of everyone,

Now I'm only scared of me.

Reviews

[Jack Wolfe]

Hmm. . . When I first signed on this morning the first thing I saw was, Brit Saunders, “I really, really hate poetry.” Curious as you have penned quite an emotionally charged piece. The wording in and of itself is simplistic, but I think it adds to the overall depth of the questions being present not only to the reader but to the writer. “Would anyone even want to help?” this line alone speaks of self-consciousness, the feeling of being alone even in a crowded room, and the sense of being under-appreciated. “The world never wants around someone in strife.” A very true statement, as most avoid drama/strife, unless it affects them personally, here you need to insert (to be, around). “This is not like me; sick of the mental trial.” I would replace the semicolon here, and insert a dash or ellipses to show pause/the break, or insert (I’m sick) as other wise it can’t stand alone. The rawest emotion is FEAR, and fear of oneself is common, yet the degrees change . . . the degree changes in this magnify that realism quite well.

[Skai Rain]

I am unsure if I truly hate poetry, but I hate writing it. I feel like I have skills that can't break through with poetry. Thank you for reading and reviewing, it means a lot.

[Saddam]

I've lived my whole life just to make you smile.
But you ripped away the soul I once had.
This is not like me; sick of the mental trial.
Seeing you all laugh used to make me glad.
But you've made me scared of me.

A different write and you are success to say what you want.
Effective write dear.

[Lashanna]

I completely understand how you feel and deal with the same emotions and feelings sometimes ... This is very beautifully written and I bet it's a great way to vent because poetry always has that way of opening your mind and thoughts on to paper. Good job!

[yashmita13]

The world never wants around someone in strife.
So I smile and give you everything you like.
That is my job, to only give you delight.
Take it all as I hold on for dear life.
wow....you really write with a lot of meaning.
the best part of your writings is that one can derive many meanings.
loved it
continue writing

[Skai Rain]

Aw, thank you. Your kindness is greatly appreciated.

[KWP]

great articulation of feeling here - I am sure everyone can relate to feeling like this at some time or another - Self Doubt is a s**t of a thing .... here's a fun fact - did you know that before White Man came to Hawaii the Kahuna people did not have a word for DOUBT !!! Yeah - think about that for a second - they didn't have a word for it and which meant they didn't know what it was - which meant it was never in their - imagine living a life like that - a world full of possibilities ... ahhhhh .... XX

[Skai Rain]

Then I would like to go and live with the Kahuna is the White Man didn't manage to kill them off. Thank you for reading!

[KWP]

quack x x x

[Lyn Anderson]

I think this is an excellent piece. If you are looking for suggestions, eliminate the colours and just use italics or a different font.

[Skai Rain]

Thank you very much for your input. Your critique is very useful. I mostly just use poetry as a formal way to vent my feelings... like a Facebook post that rhymes, haha!

[Lyn Anderson]

Yes, that is a good thing, still, I think you have good skills and a flare for words, might as well present them in their best light.

[SmittyJas]

This must of been a tough truth to write. That makes a good writer better when they can complete a rough write like this one here. Your sharp brilliant and your talent shines. Keep on writing I have gotten better in time. Many have told me not to keep trying In a matter of time things do get better. Your poetry will flow like a golden river of heaven. Blessing My Friend Keep on Writing.

[Skai Rain]

Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

[Ruth]

Sometimes it is a scary thought to be scared of the self...I understand this piece x

[Skai Rain]

I'm glad you can relate. Thank you for reading!

[Mayank]

Not yet sure if I should scream for help
I needed you to never leave me.
This is not like me; sick of the mental trial.
Seeing you all laugh used to make me glad.
Now I'm only scared of me. - even if I take those 5 lines it make great sense and poetry.

[Skai Rain]

Thank you.

[Brendan McCallum]

I for one certainly hope you don't hate poetry, who could? not a gift given to all and one that requires much work and practice to produce anything, not like baking a cake lol, you tell a tale most common with teenagers and close it with such a bang, the final line in any poem is one of the most important and you nailed that ... Bren.

[Skai Rain]

Oh, you would be surprised. Haha.