I was pulled into its embrace.

This is just something small that I wrote a while ago. I wanted to turn it into something more but I really struggled. So, sorry it's not longer but I hope you enjoy this little snippet.

  The problem is that people tell you that every time you are hurt or broken that it will make you a stronger person in the future. I have found this to be false. My experience with being hurt or broken have shaped me into a sarcastic and pessimistic realist. I hope that love is more than words or gestures and I hope that it is a real emotion that I can fathom into expression one day. Yet, my sad excuse for a heart is somewhat resistant with letting new people close enough to feel such childish things.

 In all honesty, I thought that love was something that I would fall into. However, I was pulled into its embrace unwillingly and sat alone, waiting for some sort of release, only to realise that there was no one to release me. That is the worst thing about one sided emotions. You can fall in love in three seconds with your own idea of perfection. Though you soon wake up. You wake up to realise that this idea of a flawless reality is cracked and damaged and it doesn't make you love it more, it hurts you. Imperfections can be beautiful but when the imperfection is that someone doesn't love you back, that isn't so beautiful. That’s when I decided that it was a stupid and childish thing to be in love and I promised to myself to forget about having such a feeling.  

  It is an interesting concept that we, as sole human beings, attach ourselves in others for a hope of a life we want, when statistically, the odds are against us. We are willing to give all of ourselves over to someone who may tear up apart and we fear it but we are still excited by it. I will never reach a point where can understand how to do that so carelessly.