Toby.

This is my first post on here. It's just a little something, a couple of paragraphs and I wanted to write more but I don't even think I had anything else to say. So enjoy, yay!

You were not meant to stay. We had been drinking and somehow you turned into someone I wanted. I wanted you for a couple of hours at first. You were a conquest. But you didn't grab me, you didn’t stick your tongue in my mouth. You just lay with me and you let me talk. When you thought the time was right, you brushed my hair back and it fell straight into my face again, it brought up nervous laughter. Sure, we kissed outside. I asked you if you were drunk, I knew you were. I could hear the alcohol on your voice. I asked if you were drunk enough to kiss me, you said yes. Sure, we kissed then but this was different. You were looking right at me, at my features and my face and despite the alcohol and despite however I must have looked, you leant in and before you kissed me, you closed your eyes. I learnt after months that sometimes you didn't close your eyes when you kissed me but this time you did.

I didn't speak to you much more that weekend. Embarrassed by the way I had trusted you, I avoided you until the morning you left. You hadn't been my guest but a guest of my house mates but when I saw you that morning, I swore that I was going to miss you a whole lot more than he was going to. It was about 10am, the mist hadn't settled and we were smoking under the porch where you had kissed me. I was thinking about whether your kiss still tasted the same as it had or if that had just been the alcohol. You offered to help me pack my things ready for me to visit home for the week. You sat on my bed nervously and it was incredible. I wanted to make you nervous, I wanted you to be intimidated. You were stood hand on the door handle when you kissed me again, you tasted completely different.