Chapter 1: Finding Out

Elegost a non-reputable archer of Teringleor is told of something great he must do...

 

 

 

    In a distant land, in the times of old there was a young archer boy known as Elegost. Him and his people were a devious kind, hidden in hooded cloaks of black and would strike unsuspecting attackers with their majestic arrows. They lived in the kingdom of Teringleor which was currently contemplating war with the destructive evils of Reafror. These enemies supposedly called theirselves precocious and more superior than the archers of Teringleor. For they had Elephants to ride upon and other mysterious beings in their realm.

 

"How are we to seize this from them?" asked King Fanoger, of the archers.

 

"We are Archers of secrecy! we should easily be able to retrieve it!" Replied Hando, the Captain of the archers.

 

"And, who do you suppose is most worthy to do this task for us?"

 

 "I know someone from my clan, how about the one they call, Ranger?"

 

 "Are you sure that the youngling is able to do such a perilous task?"

 

"By your Castle of Andeir, I swear it! The gods have told me so!" 

 

"Well that settles it then Ranger will go out to perform this task but, you must get him ready for this great journey. To sneak into their castle's throne room and take the golden box and return it to me, is going to be terribly difficult." 

 

"As you wish your majesty, I will inform him of this tomorrow." 

 

"I just hope he's ready."

 

    With that Hando left the King's luxurious chambers and walked through the gleaming golden halls. The tapestries upon the wall were a striking purple, laced with gold sewn by the women of the kingdom. Upon the walls were paintings of the heroic archers of eras long past. Then there was the painting of the Longbow of the Gods the weapon that was wielded by Nohzan, the greatest archer that ever lived. With this weapon he made an entire kingdom, collapse to its knees, with him at their wake.

 

"Those times are long past," Hando said gloomily. "If only we had heroes like that nowadays."

 

    He nodded at the guards as he descended down the stairs. He thought to himself, "I must inform Rasi and Merden to become companions on his trip. I don't think he can complete this task alone."

 

    He walked out into the dark courtyard with massive oaks all around, and wandered to the hidden campground in which he resided. He couldn't sleep though, for the only thing on his mind were the thoughts of the brewing war with Teringleor. Eventually he dosed off not fully knowing the terrors that would await his kingdom.

 

"Wake up sleepy-head!" yelled Consair to the sleeping Elegost.

 

    Consair was well built for his age of 16 and had short blond hair. He also was a favorite in the clan. Elegost groaned and sluggishly pulled himself up out of bed.

 

   Elegost was exceptionally strong for his age of 16 and had long brown hair swaying in the wind. His eyes were a blue much like the rapid ocean, and his countenance was one of determination. He had a stubble of a full beard and mustache, which were the same mahogany brown as his hair. His face had some scars upon it from many difficulties throughout his youth. Yet he tended to get used to this predicament on his face.

 

"Ranger, the great Captain Hando would like to speak to you about some important task he has for you, so get out of bed now!!!!" screamed Consair.

 

"He does? Do you know why?"

 

"No but you best find out."

 

    And with that Consair left Elegost's tent, to let him get ready. Elegost wondered to himself, "Why would someone of such rank as Captain Hando, want to see me? I'm just an average archer with nothing in my life of much importance."

 

    He then pulled on his dark trousers and a clean tunic. Lastly he pulled on his ebony hooded cloak and put on his Druidic necklace that his father gave to him before, Elegost went into training. He also slumped his Mahogany Longbow on his back with his leather quiver full of arrows.

 

    Hando was waiting for him outside of the main tent. He was bald and clean shaven and a stern looking man. He wore no top, for high ranking officers such as captains were not permitted to wear one in camp. He was stockly built with piercing green eyes. His eyebrows were blond, showing what his hair color actually was.

 

"Good day to you Ranger."

 

"Good day sir, you can call me Elegost if you like."

 

"That is not of importance, but the news I bring you is."

 

"What is it that wish to tell me?"

 

"The King and I have agreed to entrust you with a imperative task, which we decided nobody but you should do."

 

"The King wants me to do something allegorical for him? What is it?"

 

"We would like you and a few companions, Rasi and Merden, to go into Reafror, enter the castle of L'Ouivesette and retrieve a golden box in the throne room. We need you to do this task for the future of this kingdom!"

 

    Elegost backed away awestruck. He could not believe the King wanted him to do a task that only somebody as great as a hero could come out of alive.

 

"Are you sure I'm the one that's right for this job?" stuttered Elegost.

 

"Yes the Gods sent me a message that it would be you. That's why I told the King to select you. We need you to do this, will you?"

 

"Yes I Will, for the sake of Teringleor, and all it's honorable archers!"

 

"Very well then. Your training for this shall begin, Now."

 

 

Author's Note

Let me know how you've liked the story so far!

Reviews

[Kathleen]

I like what you have written so far. Except I think you need to reorder some things: First you say Elegost's hair sways in the wind, but he just got up out of bed...? Then you say Elegost sluggishly pulls himself out of bed and a paragraph later Consair yells at him to get out of bed...? Other than that, I liked the chapter.

[Red Brick Keshner]

Echoing some of the previous comments. The timeline of the story could be tweaked a bit. And the rhthym of the story is somewhat rapid. IF that is as you envision making the reader feel, a sense of urgency, then you are on the right track.

[Immortal]

Its fast paced with a basic yet interesting storyline. Good job

[-Aurelia Mirella]

This is all so cool!!

I love your little world that you are beginning to create! I enjoyed reading the first chapter very much!

Although I would watch using "he said, she said" type sayings to much..it hurts the flow I think, but it is totally up to you.

Great job Victor!

Always,
-Aurelia ♥