My heart was racing; I could feel it beating in my head. Why now? I asked myself. It’s too early. We confessed that we have feelings for each other last night! This is a little fast!
“What?” I asked. I was completely stunned. I’m sure he’s kidding. He has a weird sense of humor, right?
“Marry me” Zak said. “I know it seems quick, but I’m in love with you” I looked into his eyes. What do I say? I questioned myself. I love him, but this is way to fast! Why now? Why can’t he just wait!
“Zak, I just…don’t know.” I couldn’t think of what to say. “This seems a little to fast.” His hopeful gaze turned into a disappointed look. He looked like a sad puppy that had just been kicked. I felt so horrible rejecting him like this, but it was too quick. This isn’t some fairytale land where we get married and have a happily ever after. “I’m sorry, but let’s just slow down and see what happens?” I placed both hands on both sides of his head, and he rose to his feet. He put his hands on my hips. “This doesn’t mean I don’t love you, I love you with every little piece of me” I put my hands to my sides and he slowly swept his hands up to either side of my cheeks. I looked down like a shy little girl, but he gently brought my face back up. Tears in my eyes were threatening to spill over. He focused into my eyes, I felt like he was peering deep into my soul look through the files of memories and feelings I had locked inside...
“I love you more than anything in the world. I would do anything for you; I really don't want to lose you.” I could tell he was being completely serious.
“I won't ever leave, I promise” I muttered as he leaned in close to fill the space between us. I had to stand on my tip toes to reach his flawless lips. When finally got there, I smelled the sweet smell of American Crew shampoo and gel. I could smell this for the rest of my life, but then I realized that Nick and Aaron were there most likely watching us. I pulled away and looked over to where they were. Yup, they were there watching us make out.
“Uhh... sorry about that one guys.” Zak said looking down at his feet. He wrapped his arm around my lower back. He was blushing, only Zak could make that adorable. A sexy, manly, muscular guy blushing like a little school girl. “Let's go back to the hotel, I'm tired!” I heard the chain on the door rattle and the door loudly squeak open. We packed the gear and thanked Gary. None of us talked on the way back to the hotel, except for once when I asked how much longer we had in Portland.
“Our flight is at 9 tonight.” Nick answered. I noticed that Nick and Aaron don't talk very often when Zak and I are around each other. I wonder why, but anyways, the only thing I was really excited about was to go to sleep and be with Zak. He was the only thing that I really cared about, besides Martha (my roommate/ best friend, but I consider her my sister). I really couldn't function right without him, I'm not really sure if this was a bad thing. Somehow, we were sitting on the hotel bed. Hip to hip, hand in hand, gazing deep into each others eyes. Zak was giving me a look that made me feel like I was having a psychotic meltdown or something.
“What?” I gave him a puzzled look. I'm not really sure what had just happened
“Did you really mean all of that?” He replied. I could he was confused also.
“What did I say” Did I say something bad? Is he offended?
“Well you said something about you couldn't live without me, and you care about me a lot. Stuff like that.” He let go of my hands and started to gently rub my knee with the palm of his hand. He was so gentle for how strong he really was; it kind of reminded me of the BFG. Except I hoped he didn’t bottle farts.
“Oh, well why would I say it of I didn't mean it?” I looked down at my hands.
“I don't know. Sometimes people say things they don't really mean.” He brought my chin up with his fingers. Every time we touched it felt like a train full of dynamite hit a train full of lit matches. I got goose bumps everywhere. Every time, I hoped he wouldn't notice. Most of the time he wouldn't say anything, but this time he did. “Are you cold?” He asked.
“NO.” I replied instantaneously. “I'm just... tired.”
“Oh, well let's go to bed then!” He replied very enthusiastically.
I was wearing one of Zak's T-shirts, because I forgot pajamas and he insisted I wear it, I'm not sure why. The shirt was about 3 billion sizes to big; I was in the bathroom seeing how weird I looked. I peered out of the bathroom, and Zak was gone. Probably talking to Nick and Aaron. I thought to myself. I was always so paranoid about that stuff. I picked up the hotel directory and flipped through the pages. I wasn't reading them; it was just something to do to waste some time. I saw a little piece of paper fall out and land on my crotch. It said
“I’m watching, pooh bear”
I heard the hotel room door open and someone entering. I crumpled up the piece of paper and threw it behind the bed. Josh used to call me pooh bear. I thought to myself. I looked in the direction of the door, and all I saw was a walking wall of pillows and blankets. The pillow wall placed its body on the edge of the bed and I saw what was truly underneath, Zak. He looked at me and didn't say anything. Does he not like me? I pondered. Was it something I said? Maybe it's a respect thing? I don't know! Zak laid down the blankets and pillows. I almost tackled him and started screaming to get him to stop, but I didn't. He sprawled out on the hand made mattress.
“Night” He said.
“Good night” I replied sorrowfully. I hoped he wouldn't notice. I laid my head down on the pillow and tried to sleep. Meanwhile, silent tears streamed down my cheeks. Why? I wondered Am I gross? Maybe I'm being a little overly sensitive. Maybe he is just trying to respect my space? These thoughts raced through out my mind for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually, I flipped open the blankets and tiptoed to the bathroom. I didn't need to go, but I needed to calm down. I splashed some water on my face and tried not to cry as I looked at myself in the mirror. Why am I so needy? And clingy? Why? I interrogated myself in the mirror. I splashed some more water on my face, and I swung the bathroom door open. It banged loudly against the bathtub. The morning sun shone into the room, (REMEMBER: They just had they're Lock down so they are sleeping cause they're tired!) right on to Zak. Who ever thought of that stupid layout for a bathroom? Let's put a bathtub right behind the door so we can wake everybody up, and then we'll put a window there, just in case they don't wake up! I thought to myself. I quietly shut the bathroom door and tiptoed back to the bed. I stood at the side of the bed for a while, thinking. I looked over to where Zak was sleeping; he wasn't wearing a shirt, so it made him even more irresistible. Without even thinking, I grabbed a pillow and plopped myself down next to Zak and wiggled underneath his blankets. I hoped he would notice and throw an arm around me or something, but he didn't. I snuggled closer to him. Still, he did nothing. I finally laid my head on his bare chest. I felt his gentle arms wrap around my body. I let out a deep sigh, and smiled. I was finally getting what I was desperately needed. To be loved, and touched. It was all I've ever asked for but never received entirely. I soon realized tears were pooling in the ripples of Zak's eight-pack.
“What's wrong, sweetie?” Zak asked in a panic. He sat me up and cradled me in his arms. I curled up like a potato bug in the nook of his chest and legs. I could tell by the sound of his voice he was worried.
“I've always wanted” was all I could manage to choke out between sobs. Why do I cry so much? I asked myself. I was a little angry about it too.
“What have you always wanted?” He looked into my eyes.
“For someone to be with me, never wanting to let go.” I choked out again. The tears had begun to slow. We were rocking back and forth. I wouldn't give this moment up for the world.
“You never have to worry about that ever again, love. I'm never going to leave, ever.” He gently kissed my forehead. I got goose bumps, and he hugged me tighter.
“I was so alone for so long.” I accidentally said. Oops.
“I was too, angel. I was too” He laid us back down on the handmade mattress. He was on his back and I had my head and shoulders on his chest. Our arms were wrapped around each other in such a way it looked like we were playing Twister.
“What ever happened to Josh?” Zak asked suddenly. Oh God. JOSH.
“Oh, I don't know” I replied. Josh was my ex; we had been together for 2 years. When I dumped Josh, he would still send me cards and flowers, sometimes even expensive stuff like and Pod. Once he called me and tried to serenade me. I finally got a restraining order on him and moved out to Vegas, because that's where Zak was. I couldn’t help but think of the strange note that was in the hotel directory, how did it get there? I released these thoughts, and I snuggled closer to Zak, and let out yet another sigh. I smiled. For the first time; I was getting everything I had so desperately needed. And as quick as lightning strikes, we were asleep.
I was running. It was pitch black. All I could see was a faint light faraway in the distance. I kept running towards it, and when I got close to it, I saw it wasn't just a light. It was a lighter, and who was holding it? Zak, that's who. He was also holding a bucket of some sort of liquid. He poured the mysterious substance on himself and dropped the lighter. Everything burst into flames. I started to scream. I turned around and Josh was standing with a lighter in his left hand and a picture of Zak and me in his right hand. He held it to the lighter and it burst into flames. Everything was on fire. Tears were streaming down my cheeks. I turned around again and I saw Zak all burned and crispy like burnt toast. His old girl friend, Christine, walked up and wrapped her leg around his waist. She leaned in to his perfect lips and they shared a passionate kiss, like the ones Zak and I have. She was wearing a yellow corset with garters and fish nets. So in a nutshell she looked like a hooker. She snapped her neck in my direction. She looked me up and down and smiled an evil smile, her eyes turned blood red and a slimy, slithering snake tongue slide out of her mouth. She hissed like a cat, and her face unexpectedly shot at me. I was terrified.
I woke up trembling. I could feel that I was on the bed. I couldn't feel Zak next to me. I sat up and looked on the floor, there he was, on the ground. The creepiness of the dream was still rattling around in the back of my mind. I could tell this dream meant something. I checked the clock to see what time it was. The clock read 3:08 pm. I tried to close my eyes and go to sleep, but sleep kept running away from me. After a while, I grabbed all the blankets and settled myself down next to Zak again. I nuzzled closer to Zak. Eventually he grabbed me and held me close. I shimmied up to his impeccable lips and began to kiss him. He was asleep, so this was a surprise but he started to kiss back. I tenderly wrapped both legs around his waist. Soon enough, I started to remove his shirt, then he gently removed mine. The way he moved during this was unbelievable. He was like water gentle, but firm. I quickly pulled off his pants. He was over me, kissing my neck with more passion than I've ever felt. This was better than anything that I've ever done. To be with Zak was enough, but to be like this was like the icing on a cake of joy and happiness. It felt like his fingers were magic and it leaked all over my body. The goose bumps returned, but I was the only who noticed...
When I woke up again, I opened my eyes. I was completely naked, except for the blankets covering me. The first thing I saw was Zak's summer sky blue eyes. I've always wanted blue eyes, but I got stuck with the diarrhea colored ones.
“Our flight is at 9, want to get some dinner?” He smiled. I examined the tattoo on his arm of the Celtic cross. I traced the lines with my finger tips.
“Sure, let me get ready first.” I grabbed a shirt and a pair of underwear that were lying next to me and whipped it on. I tried to sexy walk it to the bathroom, but I ended up stumbling on my own feet. I shut the bathroom door and turned on the shower. As I waited for it to warm up, I sang the song “Arms” by Christina Perri. I've never really been a good singer, but I love to sing. When the water was warm enough I ripped of the shirt and panties and jumped in. I couldn't help but think about what had happened. The touching, the kissing, everything. Everything was perfect. That wasn't just sex, that was pure love making. This thought made me laugh out loud. I was happy, truly happy. Nothing could kill the mood I was in. Wait, did we use...protection? I wondered. Oh, s**t. Well I guess we'll find out in a couple of days. Could I take care of a baby? I mean financially Zak and I would be fine, but could I care for it emotionally? I mean I'm only 29! I shook these thoughts away and got out of the shower. I ripped a towel off the rack and secured it around my upper chest. I swung open the door an gradually stepped out, looking up at Zak and down at my toes back and forth, shyly. I was still kind of embarrassed to be in a towel around him, even though we just had sex. He looked up from his phone and smiled. He was wearing only sweatpants. I smiled back and said
“Where do you want to go for dinner?”
“Hmm, I don't know. I'll ask Nick and Aaron.” His gaze traveled back to his phone and I meandered over to my suit case and picked out an outfit. I quickly grabbed a black crew neck, a pair of black skinny jeans, and a blue tiger striped tank top. I tried to sexy walk it back to the bathroom again, but I ended up running into the wall. I giggled out of embarrassment and closed the door. I started to get dressed. Everytime I thought of Zak, I was pushed closer to the cliff of love. By this time, I was hanging on with one finger. I decided to put on a little makeup, it wouldn't hurt too much. I had one eye done for eyeliner and I was applying on the other eye. My hands were incredibly shaky and it slipped. The eyeliner went straight into my eye.
“B***h suck!” I yelled. It was the liquid kind, so it hurt worse. Zak popped his head through the door.
“Are you okay?” He asked. I could see his reflection in the mirror, he was smiling his charming, yet sarcastic smile that made butterflies flutter in my stomach. I turned around and smiled. I rested my hand on the edge of the sink, but there was a small puddle of water. My hand slipped again and my feet joined in. I smacked my head on the edge of the sink where my hand was placed. I fell to the ground, and Zak rushed to my side. He placed one hand behind my head and the other on my lower back. The butterflies came back and I felt a pit in my stomach.
“Are you okay?” He asked seriously this time. He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.
“Yeah” I managed to say. “That hurt” He started to laugh and I joined in.
“It looked like it hurt. Do you need ice? Should we go to a hospital?” Zak asked.
“Nah, I'll be fine. But some ice would be nice” I squeaked. He helped me to the bed, and ran off to get ice. Man! This placed is trashed! I thought to myself. There were clothes and towels everywhere. I tried to stand up to maybe pick some stuff up, but a dull pain blasted throughout my head. It was throbbing and the room started to spin. I began to get lightheaded, so I fell back on the bed. I swung my arm over my eyes to block the light. I really don't want to go to a hospital. I thought to myself. I don't want to worry Zak. He suddenly returned with a bag full of ice, and I sat up. He squatted down and lovingly placed the bag of ice on the now red bump where I had collided with the sink.
“Does that feel better?” He asked. “Oh yeah, and um, on Saturday there's this thing and I want you to go with me. It's some dinner party thing for Ghost Adventures. Do you want to go? Because you don't have to go if you don't want to.” He looked down shyly. I had to laugh, I felt like he was asking me to a middle school dance.
“Well,” I said in a sarcastic voice. “ If I HAVE to.” He chuckled. I reached up to take the ice bag from his gentle hand.
“Thanks” I said, I looked down shyly. My face got really hot, and I could tell I was blushing.
“Well, I'm going to take a quick shower, I'll be right back!” His hair was sticking out in all sort of directions.
“Nice hair by the way” I said sarcastically.
“I think it compliments my face!” He said in a gay voice. He galloped to the bathroom and shut the door. I heard the shower turn on, and I laid down on the bed. I thought about Zak. What if I am pregnant? I wondered. Would he leave me? No, he wouldn't. Would he? These thoughts raced around my head like NASCAR. Would I have to quit school? I don't want to be a stay at home mom though. I was so confused. I heard the shower turn off, and I sat up. The dull pain exploded throughout my head again. I rolled off the bed and on to my knees and crawled to my suitcase. I dug around for aspirin or ibuprofen or something to kill the pain, but I didn't find anything. I stood up and ran to the bathroom door. Stupidly, I opened the door, and Zak opened it at the same time. He opened it so fast that it pulled me towards him, and being the klutz I am, I fell on top of him and he slipped. I landed on top of him.
“Hmm. I feel as though this has happened before.” He said. I laughed.
“I don't know, has it?” I said as I caressed his lips with mine, mouthing the words into his flawless lips. Every kiss sent me flying faster and faster over the cliff. Each kiss was as the first. I looked into his summer sky blue eyes, and quickly got up to get some aspirin. The headache was all gone, but I grabbed it anyways. I looked in the mirror and realized that I still only had one eye with eyeliner and the other had only half. I briskly snatched the liquid eyeliner and started to apply again. When I finished, Zak was still on the ground for some reason, and he was looking at me.
“What?” I asked. He shrugged. “No, really. What? Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Oh, I was just thinking.” Zak said. He smiled, and I got down on the ground next to him.
“About?”
“How much I love you.” I sat criss cross. He sat up and leaned on his arm. He brushed a piece of hair behind my ear with his other hand, I looked into his eyes again. “How did a guy like me end up with a girl like you?” I could tell I was blushing. My face and ears turned hot.
“I don't know” I tried to think of something cheesy to say. “Fate?” That's all I could think of. He leaned in closer to me.
“Each day I love you more, today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow.” He mouthed these words onto my lips as he said them, just as I had done earlier. What was it? Say cheesy things to your girlfriend time? His flawless lips moved with mine, his hands skillfully brushing my shoulders and back. He gently pulled away.
“I'm sorry. I love saying things that make you blush.” He smiled, stood up, walked out of the bathroom, and shut the door. I collapsed on the ground and deeply sighed. That was random, but who cares! I thought to myself. I stared at the ceiling, struggling to keep my eyes open. Why am I so tired? My eyes closed, and everything was black. I awoke when Zak suddenly burst through the door. He was fully dressed, with wet hair sticking out in different directions. Obviously, he hadn't styled his hair yet. He looked down at me.
“Why are you still on the ground?” He angrily asked.
“You know... I'm not really sure.” I started to laugh, but he just stared at me blankly. “What's wrong?” He was all lovey dovey before, did I do something?
“Nothing, I'm fine.” He walked to the mirror, and looked down into the sink, placing both hands on either side of it. He gripped the sink with incredible force, I was afraid it would break. I briskly stood up and walked behind him.
“No, something is wrong. What is it?” I could see the anger in his eyes. I was kind of afraid, I knew he could overpower me easily. But would he try? For some odd reason, this made me extremely horny. I wanted to rip off his clothes and make sweet love to him all night long.
“Nothing.” He said unemotionally. “I'm fine.” I gently stroked his upper arms. I leaned my chin on his shoulder.
“Nooooo,” I said grinning, trying to make him happier “ I don't believe yoooou.” He looked at me and forced a smile.
“I got a call from Christine.” He said, gripping the sink even harder.
“Oh really?” I said, not really worrying about it. I knew that she cheated on him, and that he hated her for it. “What'd she say?”
“She told me she still loves me, and that she wants to be with me forever.” He said bitterly. I could see the anger in his eyes. “She wants to get back together with me.”
“What? That's crazy!” I smiled again. I knew, or I hoped that he wouldn't have feelings for her. “What did you say?” I asked reluctantly.
“ I told her about how you and I are together, and that she cheated on me, and she dumped me. I also called her crazy, and psychotic.” He forced another smile in my direction.
“Why are you so angry about it?” I reluctantly asked again. “Do you still have feelings for her?” He whirled around and faced me. His hard blue eyes became soft.
“Of course not.” He pulled me into his arms. “ I've got you remember? And I'm never going to let you go.” He started bouncing his knees and rocking side to side while humming.
“No, why are you angry about it?” I asked intently. “There has to be a reason” He deeply sighed, and looked into my eyes.
“You always need an answer, don't you?” He asked rhetorically. “Well, it just makes me angry that she would want me back after all she did to me. She just calls me up and expects me to just fall in love with her instantly. She did probably one of the worst things you can do to someone, and she expects to get me back? Yeah, sure.” I smiled. I was glad he could see how bad of a person she was.
“You tell 'em!” I said enthusiastically. We both laughed. “So she really expected to get you back?”
“Well, I think so. Maybe she was on drugs or something. I don't know.” He said heartily. “I got to do my hair. Can't go out in public like this!” He grabbed a round plastic jar half way full of Crew Fiber, which was his gel like substance that made his hair shark like. He continued to shape his hair into the shark fin. I sat down on the ground and watched in amazement as he perfectly worked and molded his hair flawlessly into shape. When he finished, he twirled around to face me. I was still sitting on the ground, watching him with wide eyes. He smiled his Mr. Gorgeous smile, and I couldn’t resist. I stood up and marched over to him. I placed my hand on his chest, feeling his heart beat.
“‘I love you’ is not enough to describe my feelings for you.” He said sweetly.
“You could cut that cheese with a knife!” I said laughing. He looked at me with an aggravated look. “But in all seriousness, I love you more than songs can say.” I quoted John Mayer. I often quoted songs because I didn’t have to make up anything and it was sweet.
When we were both ready, it was 5:45. Zak held my hand as we paraded down the hall way to Nick and Aaron’s room. He knocked on the door, and Aaron opened the door leisurely, taking his sweet time. He snapped his head in our direction when he finally had the door open.
“Yes?” Aaron said, being a weirdo. He was from Portland, so it made sense.
“Ready for dinner!?” Zak voiced to them. I stood next to Zak, holding his hand, just watching them being weird. I guess this is what a lot of girls do with Zak. They stand to the side, or the other side of the TV, and they observe. They don't get contact, they just fantasize about what could happen. Even though they know it will never happen, but hey! We can all dream! I stood there in a daze as Zak and Nick argued about where to eat. I felt my phone vibrate abruptly. I reached in my pocket, grabbed it, and clicked on the “read message” button. It read:
“Dear Adrenia,
We have a surprise for you! Come over as soon as possible!
Love,
Mom and Dad”
I knew that my parents weren’t big on texting, so this was a major improvement for them!
“I say we should just get McDonalds or something.” Nick asserted, but Zak was way too stubborn.
“No, we're going to a sit down restaurant!” Zak argued back. I stood there, in a daze. Watching them argue about a sit-down restaurant, or a fast food restaurant.
“I say we should go to my mom’s house.” I suddenly announced. Zak and Nick both looked at me. “I miss my mom, even though I saw her yesterday, and she has a surprise!”
“Well, if that's what the lady wants!” Zak added. I could tell Zak felt bad for me.
“Fine.” Nick said while rolling his eyes. He went back inside to grab his jacket and to get Aaron. We got to the car; I sat in the back on the passenger’s side. Zak sat next to me, really close to me, which was nice, and Nick and Aaron were in the front. I guided the way to my mother’s house. The whole time, Zak held my hand. He never loosened his grip. Our fingers intertwined, wrists connected like we were born Siamese twins connected at the wrist. I could almost feel the amount of love burning throughout his body. His warm skin on my bare arm, his hips next to mine. It was almost orgasmic. We arrived at my parent’s house and we all marched up to the front door. There was a strange feeling, like something was wrong. I slowly turned the door knob, and the first thing I saw was my mother’s body face first on the carpets. I sprinted to her side and positioned my hand on her back.
“Mom?!” I tried to shake her, but it did nothing. The tears were spilling over my eyes. “Mom! Wake up!” I rolled her over onto her back. Zak rushed behind me, examining my mother. Her eyes were closed, and I heard a faint moan arise from the unconscious mother in my arms. I shook her and shook her, but nothing else came out of her. The tears were streaming even harder, and faster.
“He’s here” I heard her faintly whisper.
“Mom! Mom! Stay with me! We’re gonna call 911! Please mom, don’t leave me! Please!” Her eyes closed, and a deep sigh arose again from her. I knew what had happened. She was gone. I cradled her in my arms and wept. I heard faint foot steps come down the stairs. I snapped my head up. I saw a man, dressed in all black. His arms and legs were skinny, and his armed matched. His face was droopy and there were bags under his eyes. I knew who this was, I knew right when I saw him. It was Josh.
“What the f**k are you doing here!? “ Zak screamed. He stood up and walked over to Josh with an intense face. He almost punched him, but Josh calmly pulled out a small hand gun.
“Don’t mess with me” Josh said firmly.
“Why are you doing this?” I stood up and asked. “Why?” The tears were hot rolling down my cheeks.
“Because sweetheart,” Josh looked at me as if we were in love. “We were meant to be, I’m not letting anyone get in my way.” He turned to Zak, “I know what happened. I know you had sex with her on the hotel room floor. She’s mine! Not yours! MINE!” He started screaming, but Zak remained calm. My eyes flicked towards Nick and Aaron who were standing by my side. I stealthily reached in my back pocket for my cell phone. I held it behind my thigh and unlocked it without looking. I dialed 911.
“Whoa man, calm down. “ Aaron said. Josh heartlessly raised the gun and pulled the trigger at Aaron, I screamed as loud as I could. I pressed the call button on my phone, as Aaron fell to the ground; Nick fell to his knees next to Aaron.
“Stop!” I shrieked.” Stop! Please!” Josh just looked at me and grinned.
“Maybe next time, love” Josh relentlessly fired at all of us. I felt an excruciating pain in my lower stomach region. I fell to the ground. I could feel blood rushing out, everything was going hazy. I heard sirens, and arms wrap around me. Everything was fading. No, I can’t die today. I tried to push through the blackness, to see his face. To see him again. I can’t die, not now.
![[send message]](https://www.writerscafe.org/images/mail.png){kind=small}
![[befriend]](https://www.writerscafe.org/images/friend.png){kind=small}
Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Read Request
My Library
Flag Writing
