Hospital Night

 

Slow breathing to the beat of the machine

The blinking light on and off to my pulse

The drone of the TV in the far off distance

Squeak of ugly white shoes against white tile

Whisper of that nurse what’s her name

Reflection of her sorrowful shake of head

Blink of dilated blood shocked blue eyes

Crystal tears of my pain and confusion pooling

 

Wearied breathing to the wish of sleep

The scrolling text on her cell phone screen

The quiet humming of her sweet soft singing

Loving glance of her tired green eyes

Protectively watching nurse what’s her name

Looking through months old magazines

Pretending to be interested about old jeans

All dressed up for an interrupted date

 

Riddled with pain from my broken bones

Doctors whom seem to be non existent

My fluids ridden with drugs and anesthetics

Quietly I spend hours in drugged stupor

Trying to remember who that ugly nurse is

As I slip back into induced sleeping patterns

I forget the time, is it day or is it night

Sterilized white, I wish I had dust in the air

 

A tired yawn from a sleepless night

The pile of tissues and empty coffee cups

Magazines scattered on the vacant chairs

She rests her head in her hands in frustration

She thinks no one is watching as she cries

Wrapping her arms around herself she watches

Waiting for another cup of coffee to keep her awake

Tears disappear as nurse what’s her face draws near

 

Wondering why police are outside my door

Their black outfits a stark difference

Guns hanging from belts daring criminals

One glances at me in a sympathetic way

“Why am I here” dries up in my mouth

Words and thoughts do not connect

What happened to me I can barely see

Morphine drips away my memories

 

I hear her voice as she calls my name

Green eyes probing into dilated blue

She is still here and yet she seems distant

Sitting back down she looks to her right

A man grabs her hand to comfort her

His hair in his face and a ring in his lip

She lies her face in his lap not closing her eyes

Together the watch me and the blinking machine

 

I try to stay awake to watch my guardians

It is torture to not know where you are

I look painfully down at my IV drip

What I see frightens me to death, I gasp

Deep gashes and cuts cover my arms

Blood and puss seep from some of them

I scream the first indication that I am still alive

I force myself to speak “What happened to me”

 

She looks down at the ground then at lip ring guy

She places a hand gently on my head

I feel sick as she sobs and an officer takes her place

I hear the words and the memories flood back

His hands lunging at my throat, squeezing

The glimmer of the light bouncing off the blade

The tare of my garments and skin as he

NO! I scream in anguish and guilt

 

The echo of my heart thumps in my chest

As the words and memories replay in my head

She can’t look at me in the eyes she clings to her man

The officer lowers his head as I silently sob

Dying inside I remember that one word

A tribute to moral demise at its best

Men becoming animals and taking what isn’t theirs

That hideous repulsive word …. Rape

 

I look at the doorway to my hospital room

Two more police officers turn away reporters

Drawn by my blood curdling scream

Hoping to entertain their twisted audiences

I look at lip ring boy and her standing together  

That new nurse comes to my bedside

She asks if there is anything I need

And I ask for a lethal dose of Morphine

 

Slow breathing to the beat of the machine

The blinking light on and off to my pulse

The drone of the TV in the far off distance

Murmurs of news hungry reporters outside

Whisper of the love birds talking quietly

Nurse what’s her name injects more pain killers

Blink of my dilated blood shocked blue eyes

Crystal tears of my fear and sorrow pooling

Reviews

[David Lewis Paget]

The awful things that some men perpetrate on women. It makes me feel ashamed of my kind, and angry too, because these animals give the rest of us a bad name. Your ordeal comes through loud and clear in these lines, and I can't help thinking about my own four daughters, and how I would react if any one of them had to suffer a similar experience.
The only advice I can give you is to try to put it behind you and move on, otherwise you may become embittered, and take it out on the one you really love later on.

[Jessica L Auster]

Very very good work on this piece. It was truly an excellent read, and I could see what you were saying. Keep it up.

[Monners]

this is deep and intense. makes me remember times i was in the hospital. never a fun time, especially in extreme cases such as these.