The Palace Journey

I picked up all Andowin’s belongings and cleaned the cave to my liking.
I must have dosed off because when I woke up I had blankets over me. It was warm again, I’m starting to like this place a lot more than traveling alone.
“You looked cold, and the fire had gone out after you were asleep…”
He was standing next to a boiling pot of water over the fire, dipping clothe in and washing his face and hands.
“It’s nearly noon, we’ll leave when the rain lets up.” His dark hair was in his face again, over his eyes as he smiled at me. I stood up a little too fast, and my head was rushing. My stomach grumbled from hunger and Andowin threw me a piece of bread he got from his bag.
“Thanks” I blushed from embarrassment and threw him a sweet smile.
“Eat up, it looks like the rain is letting off, I’ll pack up the blankets.”
“Where exactly are we going again?”
 “Torcemport, we’ll be staying in the palace, prince Airen wants to speak with me, it sounded urgent so the sooner we arrive the better.”
He smiled and handed me his cream colored cloak.
“For the rain. you don’t have much but the clothes on your back.”
I knelt down to pat Theorge on the head and Andowin was staring at me still.

Ten miles into the long journey down a path that went through beautiful, thick, green forests we had finally arrived in Torcemport. It was getting dark by now and the city was gorgeous. The white and gold palace was in the middle of everything, surrounded by shops, houses, and restaurants of all colors. The stone paved streets were filled with the witches, wizards, and humans that lived here. Everything looked wealthy and amazing.
Andowin led me down Lardin boulevard which had led us directly to the palace gates. He showed the large guard a letter and the tall, heavily armored man smiled at us as we walked through the gate and up the many flights of stairs. Andowin took my hand in his as a small man, dressed in a red button-down formal suit, opened the large golden doors with a “right this way sir.” He pointed us to a room that we would be staying in for the night. The little man opened his mouth.
“Prince Airen is out at the moment and will be back tomorrow.”
“Thank you, sir” Andowin tipped him a gold coin and the little man fled the room, slamming the door behind him. The room was huge. The large, red king sized bed was lined up directly across from a couch and a big, stone fireplace that was cracking and letting off a yellow glow to the room. There was a large oak wardrobe that was placed next to a small changing area farthest from everything else.

Reviews

[kasG]

I think you have the good beginning of a story here. Grammar and sentence structures are good, but there isn't much substance. If this is a journey, their needs to be risk, danger, intrigue. It's obvious there's the bones of a love story between your protagonist and Andowin; that Andowin's in the service of the king. If you flesh this out more, I think you'll have a really great story.