Shattered Hearts

Suffocating,

In this sea of depression,

Crying out for help,

But receiving none.

I give til i got nothing left,

I provide to those in need,

Yet i'm the first to get torn down.

Torn down in seconds,

By words that slowly shatter my heart.

This sea of depression,

Is filled with the untold stories,

Untold stories of those who've been alone,

Those who've felt true pain,

Those who've lived with depression.

Yet we seek to help others,

Rather than ourselves.

We live in the shadows,

Apart from the rest of the world.

Shattered hearts,

Broken beats,

We are family,

The family of the untold.

We love just to be hated,

We help just be kicked to the side,

We smile to hide our pain,

To hide our stories,

Our stories that are buried under the depths of our hearts,

Yet we smile everyday and act as if nothing's wrong,

Just to make the lives of others happy,

To save them from the hurt we cannot escape.

Author's Note

This is going to need a lot of revising but i'm posting it because i need some help/feed back with what's good and what should be changed......maybe how i can change it to make it better?(: Thanks guys(: Don't be shy to say it sucks! :p

Reviews

[The Watcher]

This is a intense but truthful poem. I can relate to everything mentioned here, and I can feel the pain behind your words. Being alone is one of the rough parts of life, but fighting through it can make us stronger people in the end. I hope things get better for you soon Brianna. Kudos and good luck.

100/100

[Patrick Henry]

"Don't be shy to say it sucks"? ....lol You can't post a beautiful picture and then allow for that to happen. It won't. : ) I read your poem as if it were a list, a mental list, where you are possibly involved in some in-family fighting and desire that need to find a way to move out of the house. I had a pros and cons list, too, when I was growing up, and the pros were friends I knew..... dead. The cons I knew, were the cuts, drugs, and anger I had..... that is dead, too!! It had to be to survive day to day. Then all my friends started dying and moving away from me. I don't think your poem is sad at all. Your words are sharp and exacting, but you are beautiful in the delivery and smart to the wit that birthed such lines in there..... I like it and I like YOU. It's a very neat poem to read how maybe "introspection" affects others. Nice job. xoxo -Mark

[Beautiful_Nightmere]

Thank you!(:

[Dr. Wood ?]

Very sad..and moving...If you want MY advice you might try to sort out the last verse it seems to be a bit garbled and could maybe do with a little tweaking..Shattered hearts...Broken beats...We are family...We smile to hide our pain...Our stories that are buried in our hearts...Yet we smile each day...In order to protect you...

Sorry if this is being too presumptuous

[joshua deathdealer]

This is a very touching and lovely piece. Your not alone.