A Celebration Of Completeness

A Celebration of Completeness

 

She looks at me with eyes so deep and pure
Yet she can melt my heart with only a whisper.
I feel as though I have known her all my life.
Long before we met, she existed in my dreams.

 

Countless times I wondered if I would ever find her.
Shallow relationships forever renewed my search.
I knew she must exist…but where?
Until then, I could never be complete.

 

Suddenly my prayers were answered when she appeared.
I knew who she was, from the first moment our eyes met.
Not a word was spoken, but within that moment
We both seemed to understand the search was over.

 

Now, I relish every time our lips meet
Along with the magic of just a touch
I cherish every moment I spend with her
As passion, lust, love and respect combine.

 

 

Time is no longer something to pass
As I wish every moment could last forever
To her, she is only a woman
To me, she is life itself.

 

By Brian K. Walters

 

Reviews

[MJ Durston]

Well, Brian K. Walters, as a reader I enjoyed it, It wa spassionate, insightful, and very well written. I didn't notice any grammar errors, the rhythm was smooth - flowed nicely. I like the fact that it didn't rhyme, rhyming wouldn't have brought out the devotion and love as well as not-rhyming did. Sometimes rhyming doesn't add to a poem at all, instead it ruins it. In your case, you chose the right format.

Something Bad: I don't like the fact that you didn't incorporate any emotion at all, in poetry you don't want to leave it all to the reader's imagination, just like it story-telling.

Somethign Good: It truly was beuatiful, you did a fantastic job on the poem, and I hope to read more of your work. This kind of reminds me of Edgar Alan Poe's Annabelle Lee, if you've ever read it. Beautiful poem, you should read it.

Anyway, I'm kind of off track, I like that you didn't pay much attention to "her" you focused mainly on how you were searching for her, in awe of her, and in love with her. I also enjoyed that you asked questions to no one, looking for that true love. You wanted to know Where? But when you stopped looking, there she was.

Alright, I'll stop rambling on,
Keep Writing,
Melissa