Wolf Pack
A Poem by BrianLove
I wrote this very quickly and at different times in parts. Help me polish it up and interpret the meaning, if you will. I'm not entirely sure what I'm trying to say here. Talk to me.
We live in a world where everyone is tired, but no one is sleeping and everyone is crying. Yet no one is weeping. We cherish our dear friend Isolation. We shut the floodgates of our hearts, in subjugation to loneliness, to sorrow, to bitter resentment. We take pride in hating our brothers. We take pride in loving ourselves. We take pride in drawling in an endless slumber, too removed from consciousness to hear the lone wolf’s howls. Crying for help as the cougar prowls. Break the silence, end the agonizing loneliness, numb the pain, if only for a short while. Survive just a few more mournings. We are all sick, we are all in need of a doctor. We are all patients. Mend each other’s wounds, until the dawn of the last morning. Peace will disperse by the shade of moonlight, where the darkened sky shines so bright. For some, death is death. For some, death is life.
© 2014 BrianLove
Author's Note
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This is a first draft that still needs work in every area. Also, if this poem strikes any chord with you, I'm here to empathize with you so we can move forward in life.
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Reviews
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Hey. I enjoyed the read very much. There is some resistance along the way so I tweaked the punctuation. I've pasted my edit bellow if you are willing to have a go.
Since you have a lot of lone statements, I'd suggest you use lower case at the beginning of some lines that bellowing to a whole phrase (like i did in the first two lines).
Avoid using "but" too much. I also removed "on" after "drawling", because it already gives an idea of lingering.
If the poem is well written and organized, the meaning can be left alone, even if you don't quite know what is going on :)
We live in a world where everyone is tired, but no one is sleeping
and everyone is crying. Yet no one is weeping.
We cherish our dear friend Isolation.
We shut the floodgates of our hearts, in subjugation
to loneliness, to sorrow, to bitter resentment.
We take pride in hating our brothers.
We take pride in loving ourselves.
We take pride in drawling in an endless slumber,
too removed from consciousness to hear the lone wolf’s howls.
Crying for help as the cougar prowls.
Break the silence,
end the agonizing loneliness,
numb the pain, if only for a short while.
Survive just a few more mournings.
We are all sick,
we are all in need of a doctor.
We are all patients.
Mend each other’s wounds, until the dawn of the last morning.
Peace will disperse by the shade of moonlight,
where the darkened sky shines so bright.
For some, death is death.
For some, death is life.
Posted 10 Years Ago
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Stats
351 Views
1 Review
Added on October 13, 2014
Last Updated on October 25, 2014
Tags: Loneliness, Empathy
Author
BrianLoveLos Angeles, CA
About
My name is Brian. I'm a 17 year old guy who likes to write poetry. I usually write sonnets having to do with love. These poems are usually inspired from my own life experiences and feelings. more..
Writing
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