MAYBE

They said I had to go

Leave and not come back to the land of Eden

Well, I did leave, but some how I belong to that place

The place I left

That place of Eden

That one shining, golden land

I left hoping to be called back to stay once more

Hoping as I walked down that road away from the home I held in my heart

I called it often

I waited for the return of calls

Telling me that it can be left in the past, come back home

I walked away with a heavy heart I left behind

Shattered on that kitchen floor like a broken window

I still plead them to let me back inside

Let me feel the comfort that I once had before the heavy, traumatic problems

Those horrible fights

Those horrible aching nights

Those times where I wished to be dead, buried under the ground

And waiting for salvation and to let my pains submerse out of the rotten depths of despair

I still wait

Just not underneath that earth I left in the past

I’ve been able to manage

I’ve been able to cover up my pains of those few years

I’ve found a lover who understands

I’ve found and learned that there are other Edens

But I still feel that hole inside

That hole where I cut out that part of my heart and left it

Left it back in that past years ago

Maybe times will change

Maybe that call will come

Maybe my heart will be whole once more

Maybe my father will realize that I need him

More than any one else

More than I ever needed

Maybe.