---rACEcARE

its raining again, the taste of a morning cigarett burns in the cold wind as i wait, a little hung over from a long night of sedation, its now time to get buisy, god that hang over is killing, as if a million little midgets in my head, stomping on the ground within my brain, yelling down the dark alleyways, banging loudly within my ears, was that music loud lastnight or what, you shouldnt have at those brownies, deep inside you knew, stupid rain, so loud on the car as the radio comes to life, feeling as if in a middle of a musical war the tunes are off again, wow, what happened lastnight, oh well the engines on, time to go, time to light another, and begin work, the salt and grime cackle under the tires, look out theres another car.

Reviews

[HorrorMaster]

Not bad I like it

[Kaitlin W. Blaylock]

not sure if the misspellings of cigarette and busy are intentional for the piece, or accidents. i like your style of streams of consciousness. keep it up ^_^

[Greg Skura]

Ah to be young and somewhat foolish again! If I could do it all again I would do it the same! Cheers!

[Bethany]

Excellent work, this made me smile although I would recommend a couple of full stops:)

[Stacey]

LOL!!! While I found this a wonderful write and it made me reminice:) I get the vibe and the moment. For I have been there....do I remember it all, NO! But it was a lovely ride at that time. Be careful...today seems so different then my yesterday!

[Tina Kline]

It almost seems as if there is about to be a accident. This reads like a page from someone's life or diary. Good job.

[Alyssa]

Good job.

All I have to say is work on the format though.
:)

[luciddreamer]

In my younger years, this was a typical morning for me....excellently captured moments.....enjoyed tremendously....although I did not necessarily enjoy those times; looking back of course :)

Peace
Robin

[Holly O'Brien]

it was pretty melodramatic, seemed like just thoughts and then the end wakes you up like "WHAM!" lol.....I like the way you described the feeling of the hangover...for some reason i wished this was longer...I enjoyed reading this, the way you write draws me in :)

[Jennifer Lenhardt]

enjoyable read, and i myself am quite fond of the paragraph form. usually how i write myself though have abandoned it for awhile. always have a tough time with line the breaks, but not so when it's like this. has a nice flow. loved this line - the salt and grime cackle under the tires - so true of winter. nice job!