LEFT TO FADE

i step out through the back door, the snow crunching under my black boots, my breath coming out in a fog as if my soul to excape, slipping through my tongue, the wind picks up as a take a little stroll around the corner, like a thousand splinters, damn its cold tonight, wish that old midsummers night brease to come rolling on by and thaw my frozen cheeks, reaching into my pocket i pull out my cigaretts, kinda hard with gloves, shaking from the withdrawl, i shake out my last one, so quick, lets smoke this and get back to the fire, the paper rolled tobbaco slips once spent, that should be enough, now lets get back, the firey coal burns out as the sound of my black boots fades, in the snow where i left you, to die out.

Reviews

[Omar Fendri]

... A unique style of poetry. It's just so real to believe and feel ... Description is immaculate ...
well-done

this is nice very descriptive keep it up

[reminder]

Terrific imagery. Your description of events sets a cold, lonely mood. Well done!

[Stacey]

I like your style of streaming words. I think this prose could be interpreted many different ways and apply to many different emotions. I read more into the message that's being relayed to the reader. There are some spelling, grammatical and typo errors, but if this was the intent it's your style and that's really cool! Wonderful write

[Lovely Lady]

Oh,you are good.... I love your style...great write!
~lovely

[bob skye]

Captures the cold... I like lines like:the paper rolled [tobacco] slips once spent. Great rhythm there. Hint I learned from experience: Don't publish until you've reAn-read, re-read, re-read. Misspell a word for effect by all means, but it makes a writers work appear as if he doesn't care. Re-write ten times if that's what it takes.
Hint 2: (I just heard this one) Write the book/poem you'd like to read.
GOOD WORK! Carry on.

[Ms. Gruye]

excape= escape
brease=breeze


You have captured a stream of consciousness nicely here. I was a bit skeptical at to where that stream left me at the end. You wrote with a nice pacing. I just wish there were more meat to the narrative.