BABE

like a rollin river, goin off into the distance, yea, just like the waves crishing on to the side, my momma will come home one day, yea, where the wishes are floating on by, years of untold stories and lies, yet full of the want to let go, so let it roll, roll on away, down the river, far away, so when my baby comes home, she will give me that sweet love, oh baby, come a little closer, where the break of dawn will come soon, and i shall be on my way, through the window again, and off into the distance, i blow the kiss of return, but know deep within, my heart is going to heaven, i will see you babe, on the other side, where the rivers keep rollin, where the music sounds around the air all day, where i will sing, and roll on down this river, on through life, goodbye babe.

Reviews

[SpokenWord]

You do love your run on sentences. I am actually getting use to it now, and how it flows as one though spoken in one breath. It's hard when we are separated from a true love like this and you know you have to travel to them to be reunited one day. Makes the remainder days on earth long and hard.

[Just Brooke]

Well I read your other reviews on this poem. I always felt as though, the great thing about poetry is their are no boundaries and you can write it in whatever style, form, or emotion you want. This piece is true art, and I find it inspiring. It has a lot of imagery with repetition, which I believe is what makes it flow so smoothly. So nice job.

[Brian W. Hastings]

You capture and translate emotions onto the page very well. Need to give your style of the run on stream of thought a name.

[iamcarolfierce]

saying goodbye whom you love dearly is the hardest. But it seems like this poem had been a little positive with it and this made me like this poem. Loving someone who already belong to another world is an example of true love. :)

[luciddreamer]

Nice write :)

[ali]

I love the language, it's very vivid and rustic. I actually don't know if this should be poetry or prose it sounds like a song to me, however it could use some line breaks to emphasize breath if it is going to be poetry.

[Dwayne]

This reads more like prose to me Brian. I like the imagery. It reminds me of the work of a guy that comes to our coffee houses/poetry readings at school. I think it would work well as a dramatic reading.

[Levioshock]

well done