BELIEVE

Now heres a little lesson, can you take the words, think of the different forms this all can be written, remember its only a run on sentence, re arrange rearrange with in within you.

within the wings of denial you ride, into the night, into the horrizon, where the shores are golden, but you must realize this is only a short trip, for the road back will be alone and full of thorns, have you learned yet, that there is nothing that is really what they seem, life is an illusion, you should sence that, you should understand that, you will have to start from scratch, so yes, keep on this road you will see, i am never wrong in this for i too have led a life in this time, and the grave is a steep hill to dig your fingers in, believe me, i was dead too.

Reviews

[Ry]

I don't completely understand this one, but the title itself is powerful. One word, and a strong one at that. It draws people in. This poem to me signifies some sort of inner fight for the "you," and understanding and experience from the "i." Grammatically, the commas throw me off a bit. Personally, poetry is much clearer written in stanzas. But that's just a personal opinion. This is very insightful and has a very strong meaning, I can tell, even if I don't completely understand the meaning. =)

[Fabian G. Franklin]

If I were your editor I would format this piece like this:
"within the wings of denial you ride
into the night
into the horizon
where shores are golden
but you must realize
this is only a short trip
the road back will be alone
and full of thorns
have you learned yet
there is nothing
that is what it seems
life is an illusion
you should sense that
you should understand
you will have to start from scratch
keep on this road... you will see
i am never wrong in this
i too have led a life in time
the grave is a steep hill
to dig your fingers in
believe me, i was once dead too."

[just take a breath]

huh... so, i was late night writing and just happened to run into your read request. though i usually hate when you use this type of formatting on your poems, the feeling and detail overpowers it and i had no thoughts of the format at all. this made me happier :) thanks for sharing it

[Brian Kraklau]

um who are you?

[mir]

By the way, Happy Birthday!

[mir]

Very thought-provoking. I interpret this interesting piece as travelling through life while seeing what you want to see---while conjuring up in your mind those thoughts that are pleasing to your senses; however, when realization finally sets in and you sadly return to your original starting point to regroup your actions, the road back will be tough and desolate as you see things along the way, this time, as they TRULY are---and WERE the first time you passed by. After reaching your home destination into basic humbleness, you must start over again, but this time, by seeing life as it truly is. Your poem can be discussed in even further depth---very good expression of your feelings. Excellent point. I like this.

[PrincessZeldaWannabe]

Love it! Bravo!

[AloysiaVerben]

I like it, good and meaningful writing, love the second line.

[TJ]

I like it. It basically teaches that life is not what it seems, I believe.