YOU READY?

The toys of our lives always vary on the chosen viewpoint we are all living, maybe in time we could avenge his death, and save this world, we should watch that raven swooping in from above, the one distasteful in the essence of truth, maybe we can find our true form, where we will dance in the fields of tomorrow, and bury the destroyed lives of yesterday, we didn't all know this would come, we didn't all know this would become it, that whispered word upon everyones breath, upon every breeze, even the trees, the crows are watching, awaiting their moment to devour those corrupt minds upon the empty battlefield, who told us not to do this, who wished the heavens to crush us before the end, before it would of been this painful, it is always too hard to let go, but we all must learn to space this life to learn, to touch, to see, to become the next in line, to take that door away from what this world has done, don't be shy, dive in, and you will be welcomed by the world of people with full tables, and full bellies, and open hearts, extinct of the previous feelings, forgotten and forgiven, its time to start anew, how bout you.

Reviews

[Brian Kraklau]

thank you all for your evaluations of my writing. I have the utmost gratitude for you fellow writers, in the midst of our extinction.

[Lepolepo]

The essence of writing is like water...it fills up the empty voids in ourselves...completing us...how we choose to appreciate what it does...determines how we value it....
P.s...less is more and YOUR less ..to me....is best
Note: it's excellent

[Rain Kissed Secret]

I swear, some people just aren't open minded = ) You have great potential and I like the fact that you have been writing for so many years. This piece is curious in the way it makes me feel. I imagine you are trying to say that yes there are bad things in this world, yes they will hurt you. But only if you let it ^^ Very inspirational. I like it.
Your new friend,
Rain

[NickyGL]

formatt

[Lilly Negoi]

one phrase poem :). nice pattern. and very well treated subject.

[Solidad]

This this beautiful my only problem with it to me is its formatting. I personally think the way its in body paragraph form is takingway from the piece. It almost comes across as a run on sentence. And this is one of those pieces that you don't want any one to worrymissing out on any of this. Bravo =)

[just take a breath]

ok, the concept? amazing! the amount of detail? amazing! the only thing i would change is the format of it because it feels like im reading a story because they are in a "book-type" of form. orrr you could add it to the story genera. you should start writing stories instead of listing them as poems because your really good and that would just make you better :)

[Jeff]

Thought-provoking.

[A.E. Reed]

FIRST! Lol, random? Anyway, I like how it's really deep. I admit it took me a few reads to get a better understanding of it but none the less. Writing should make you think and that's exactly what yours did XD good job.

[PrincessZeldaWannabe]

So beautiful and cool!