Destitute

A key broken in several places,

Naked faces in a bed-ridden location.

Passion lifeless,

Soundless seclusion,

The key which was controlled constitution.

A world embodied in a minority state,

Taking away from man-driven hate.

Retribution endless,

Meaningless manipulation,

Our world, a puppet civilization. 

Reviews

[KlineXcreed]

Very Good! I love this as it flows off my tongue and fills me with the very image. Very impressive. Keep up the great work!

[Audrey Murray]

Brian there are some great images in this poem which I think you could develop into their own poems for example naked faces in bed-ridden locations or what about soundless seclusion I got a little lost in this poem i.e. not really sure what was the main message if you do rework the poem etc could you please let me know I would be interested

[Philip Muls]

Very sophisticated assessment of society. The great scheme of things, the character lie which is civilization.

Passion lifeless...it is a charade.

Well done!
Could you read mine.

[katie]

Excellently summarizes what is wrong with the world. Incredibly well written, as always! Keep writing!

[alifeacoustic]

An excellent overview of all that is wrong with society. It seems more and more naked faces are being seen , looked down on by the lucky few. Isn't it strange that the privileged few are actually the minority, who own the majority? A puppet civilization indeed. Great write Brian.

[coffeedigest]

Well done! Very good flow and feel overall. The lines "Retribution endless, meaningless manipulation, our world, a puppet civilization." Are extremely powerful and well written.

Keep up the great work!