Crucial Reciprocity

What do I do?

Love me how I want to be loved and you will want for not.
A woman who knows her worth must not be forgot.
I can give you my heart and soul every time if you just promise me your reciprocation

But 99 and a half won't do...
My 100% does not equal your 22
In this life, I'm hunting success and a well built foundation for the man I love.
But how should I feel when I'm the very last thing you think of?
All the this and that about your plate being to full.
Why are you bringing your last meal's leftovers to our dinner table?

Then when I need you, you let me know that you're not able...
Then you halfway pull the cable.
Underestimating my intelligence like I would not feel the surge.
I used to want nothing more than your touch, but now I refuse the urge
All the excuses and white lies about your 'benign' distance. Why is it okay for you to go cold on me without an instance?
I don't know what's up or down. You can't ever hold me down.
Heavy is the head that wears the crown, but the queen wears the kings pain as well as her frown

Your heart is hot and cold. I never know if you're there or if I'm just imagining things and I'm alone.
You can't even pick up the phone.
Dealing with death is hard, but I knew it. But somehow I'm supposed be in the dark when I do it.
You're supposed to be my light, but some how I'm alone in this fight.
Try to get you to hear me out because the last thing I want to do is scream and shout
We've been there and that scares me
I can feel it in the air. So don't tell me I'm dreaming when I tell you you're just not there
I love you no matter what and it hurts.
Just a confession from a confused woman who still remembers her worth