Trickle down effect

I wrote this at a time when nothing made sense and everything made me want to give up on ever being able to smile again. A time when I needed my uncle's insight.

My uncle made a great point, he, my brother and myself all get our taste in music and humor from my dad. The irony in it is that he's not involved in any of our lives. Sometimes I wonder about my dad. Why does he push away and hurt the ones that love him most. It's as if deception is his way of affection. A cross for him to bare but somehow we get the brunt of it all. Funny how a drunk man speaks sober thoughts that blossom into a thought process of the ugly truth. He tells me i'm too young to be this jaded but cynicism has become my way of coping with my harsh reality and I sometimes feel like i'm so far off the beaten path of optimism that it's too late to turn back. Life is at that point of speeding up and one decision affects 100... I wonder if my father thinks about that too...