Hannah's Story

This was once a standalone story and it introduces a new character.

 

 

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Chapter 3: Hannah's Story

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I was cleaning up my parents' old place when I found a book I'd never seen before. What made it stand out was the fact that it was sealed inside an evidence bag. When I opened the book and began to read, I fully understood why:

 

 

Month 1-Mother

 

 

Oh, my god I’m pregnant! I can’t believe this is happening to me! When I told my boyfriend he left me and refused to give me money for an abortion. I told him that’s fine and instead I’ll just force a miscarriage. I went down to the Liquor Store and loaded up on beer, cigarettes and more beer. When I looked at the warning label I simply laughed. “Let’s see what happens after a few weeks…” I said.

 

 

Month 1-Baby

 

 

Whoa, I exist! This is so amazing! I don’t have a definite shape yet but I can feel what my mommy’s feeling. I hope she doesn’t really try to kill me. Hey, what are these strange chemicals…?

 

 

Month 2-Mother

 

 

Oh…my head…I must’ve gotten really wasted. After all that beer I drank who wouldn’t? Wait, I suddenly feel ill…

 

 

(A few minutes later)

 

 

Crap, I don’t need this! How can that thing still be alive? (Lights a cigarette) “I don’t want any stretch marks so you’ve got to go.” I said to no one.

 

 

Month 2-Baby

 

 

Sorry about making you throw up, Mommy! I just wanted you to know I’m here! What do you mean you don’t want me? You don’t even know what I look like. Now that I think of it, I don’t even know what I look like. It’s so dark in here. Hey, what’s with that black fog rolling in all of a sudden?

 

 

Month 3-Mother

 

 

Ah, that sauna was nice! Too bad the heat didn’t cook the thing growing in me. The guys at the spa were concerned I stayed in there for 6 hours but I just laughed. Man, now I’m thirsty. A few beers should cool me off...

 

 

(A few days later)

 

 

Almost four months and still it lives! I read some books and this thing should be gone already! Stupid pest! Die already! I don’t want you! You already ruined my life!

 

 

Month 3-Baby

 

 

That’s horrible! How can someone love someone you’ve never met? Why would you want to get rid of me? That makes me so sad. My body’s started to take shape. If you could see me I know you’d like me. I don’t know if I’m a boy or girl yet. If I survive in here you’ll love me when you see me.

 

 

Month 4-Mother

 

 

Whoa…I won the drinking contest. I must’ve had at least 40 shots or something. I wonder what it did to the thing inside me. Somehow I know it’s still alive. I can feel the lump in my stomach. I jabbed at a bit to see if that would have any effect but it was still there. If I can’t force it out then I’ll just make it suffer some more (lights a cigar).

 

 

Month 4-Baby

 

 

Oh…I don’t feel so good. Why did you have to drink so much? That cigar’s not gonna do much for me, either. I think I’m going to die. This can’t happen…I haven’t been born yet…

 

 

Month 5-Mother

 

 

My parents were furious when they found out I was pregnant. They were even more upset when I told them what I was doing to it. “You can sell it for money!” they said. That isn’t what I want, though. It messed up my life so now I was going to destroy it. It’s starting show so now I have to stay in my apartment for the next 4 and a half months. There’s no way I’m letting my drinking buddies see me like this. I’ll only leave to get food, alcohol and tobacco. Nothing but the best for this thing!

 

 

Month 5-Baby

 

 

I’m really sorry you won’t like me. I wish I could disappear but I can’t. I think all the liquor and smoking is making me sick. I don’t know why I’m still here. Maybe something is keeping me alive so you can see what all this is doing to your new girl. No matter what I’ll hang on as long as I can.

 

 

Month 6-Mother

 

 

Well, I’m pretty sure now that this thing won’t be going anywhere. Big mistake. It must be feeling like crap with all the stuff I’ve been giving it. That should be proof enough that I don’t want it around.

 

 

Month 7-Baby

 

 

Here I am still alive. I’ve got ten toes and ten fingers. I think all that liquor is making me see things that aren’t really there. I must be really big because now this space is getting really small. I miss being able to move around when I was smaller. Maybe if I survive I’ll have more space after being born.

 

 

Month 8-Mother

 

 

I feel like a fat cow. This thing ruined me for life! I am so not happy! It keeps kicking me so I just drink a few cases of beer to make it stop. If that doesn’t work I punch it until it does stop. I already know its gonna hurt coming out. Maybe all that beer and smoking made its head smaller.

 

 

Month 8-Baby

 

 

I think I’m starting to feel really hazy. All that liquor is starting to mess up my brain. I hope I’m able to think when I’m born. Those punches really hurt. I’m sorry I hit your bladder! It was an accident and I only did it once!

 

 

Month 9-Mother

 

 

Thank goodness it’ll be over soon. I can’t wait until it comes out so I can be rid of it forever. If it survives being born I’ll kill it with my bare hands!

 

 

Month 9-Baby

 

 

I can’t believe I’m getting out of here soon. Being in here has been torture. How could anyone do this to their own daughter? Much less one that hasn’t even been born. When you see me I just know you’ll change.

 

 

Birth: Mother

 

 

Oh, my goodness! It’s coming out! It hurts even with all the stuff I did! This thing needs to get out now! ARGH!

 

 

After Birth: Baby

 

 

Oh, that was exhausting but now I’m free! What? What do you mean I’m ugly? I look just like you! Hey, where are you taking me? Don’t leave me in on the road! (Car starts up nearby) Oh, no—please don’t kill me! No…

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After reading the story, I ran into the bathroom and proceeded to throw up in the toilet. Even though I knew it was a true story it sickened me none the less. “She was even more of a monster than I'd thought...” I trailed as I picked myself up off the floor. An incident that happened at the mall when I was four suddenly came to mind, though I could only remember bits and pieces of it...

---

 

 

11:45AM

 

 

“Momma, where are we going?”

 

 

“We’re to run some errands, dear.”

 

 

12:30PM

 

 

“Now Hannah, I need to go inside the bank and get some money. What do you tell anyone who asks where I am?”

 

 

“You went to get me some ice cream.”

 

 

“That’s, right. Now remember to keep the doors locked!” (leaves)

 

 

4:00PM

 

 

(mother enters car)

 

 

“Yes! I won $5,000 from a scratch ticket! We’re going shopping, baby!”

 

 

5:00PM

 

 

“Now I’ll be right back, Hannah. What do you say to people who ask?”

 

 

“I got lost and came here to wait for you.”

 

 

“That’s a good one! We can’t let you die from the car fumes so I’ll keep it off. There’s water in the back seat and the windows will be down a little. I’ll be back in an hour!”

 

 

(Leaves)

 

 

5:30PM

 

 

“Hey kid, where’s your parents?”

 

 

“I don’t know. I got lost so I came here to wait.”

 

 

“Now that’s impressive, finding your car like that. I wish my kids were that smart!” (Stranger leaves)

 

 

5:50PM

 

 

“Where’s your mom?”

 

 

“I got lost so I came here to wait for her.”

 

 

“You look pretty hot in there, but maybe you mom will be here soon.” (Stranger leaves)

 

 

7:30PM

 

 

“Oh, my goodness! Someone left a kid in here!”

 

 

“She’s unconscious! Someone call an ambulance!”

 

 

7:45PM

 

 

“This kid’s been in there for hours! She’s burning up!”

 

 

“Where’s your parents, kid?”

 

 

“I was lost and came here to wait…”

 

 

“You don’t have to lie. We know you’ve been in the car for at least 3 hours by yourself.”

 

 

8:00PM

 

 

“Is there a problem, officer?”

 

 

“Are you this kid’s mother?”

 

 

“Yes”

 

 

(Throws on Handcuffs)

 

 

“You’re going to jail.”

 

 

“What for?”

 

 

“Attempted Murder.”

---

“Ah...I think that was it.” I said after recalling the now distant memory. “That was the incident that ultimately made my life hell.” And then the rest of my childhood began to flash before me like a TV set:

 

 

Hannah, shortly after birth

 

 

(Car starts up)

 

 

Please don’t kill me!

 

 

(Police sirens wail)

 

 

“Don’t move! Get out of the Car!”

 

 

Is it over?

 

 

Hannah, aged Six

 

 

“You stupid little girl! I was thrown in Jail because of you!”

 

 

“I’m sorry!”

 

 

“No, you’re not! Don’t lie to me!”

 

 

“But I really am!”

 

 

“I said stop the f*****g lies! All you do is try to put on a pretty face and act all cute all the time but that act don’t work on everyone.”

 

 

Hannah, Aged Ten

 

 

“Momma, I’m home!”

 

 

“Did your father give you any money?”

 

 

“Only $10.”

 

 

“Let me see it.”

 

 

“He said I’m not supposed to give it to you.”

 

 

“I said let me see it!”

 

 

(Hands over money)

 

 

“Who does Kevin think he is? Just for that, I’m keeping this.”

 

 

“But it’s mine.”

 

 

“Yes, but so are you so that means this money is mine!”

 

 

“But that’s no fair…”

 

 

“Did I ask you that?”

 

 

“No.”

 

 

“Then get out of my face!”

 

 

What did I do wrong? All I did was be honest…

 

 

Hannah, Aged Eleven

 

 

“Hey, sweetheart! How was your day?”

 

 

I don’t want to talk about it...

“…”

 

 

“Oh, I see.”

 

 

“What?”

 

 

“Did I do something?”

 

 

“No.”

 

 

“Then why don’t you ever say anything when I come to get you? Don’t you like spending time with me?”

 

 

Of course I do! More than anything…

 

 

“Ah…”

 

 

“Look, I know how your mom is. I have the papers to prove it (opens glove compartment). As long as I have these your mother can’t bother me and I can keep seeing you.”

 

 

“Ok.”

 

 

I wish it would keep her from bothering ME…

 

 

Hannah, Aged Fourteen

 

 

“What do you mean, she has to miss a week of school?

 

 

“That’s the rule, ma’am. You have a fight in school and you’re out for a few days.”

 

 

“But it wasn’t her fault! She’s been teased by the other kids all her life!”

 

 

That’s not true! You’re the only one who does!

 

 

Hannah, Aged Fifteen

 

 

“Do you have any friends?”

 

 

“No.”

 

 

“How come?”

 

 

“Everybody my age just wants to get into trouble. I talk to people much younger or older than me, though.”

 

 

“Why don’t you make some friends your own age?”

 

 

You know why I can’t make any friends…

 

 

“I don’t really want to be bothered with doing that right now. I like school, anyways.”

 

 

“What about that boy you liked in Middle school? Rob, I think his name was…?”

 

 

“We were just really good friends! I knew him in 5th grade!”

 

 

And he was so adorable in the 5th grade, too.

 

 

“Do you still talk to him?”

 

 

“No.”

 

 

“Why?”

 

 

Because I loved him too much to let you know how much he made me care about him.

 

 

“I lost his number.”

 

 

Hannah, Aged Sixteen

 

 

“Say Hannah, are you seeing anyone?”

 

 

“No, my mother’s too crazy to allow that.”

 

 

“Alright, I respect that. You’re just too pretty to go through High School without a lot of friends.”

 

 

“I’ve still got Drill Team.”

 

 

“Come on, you know what I mean.”

 

 

I know, I’m sorry for lying but…

 

 

“Look, I just like doing schoolwork is all.”

 

 

“And you think the 200 other members of your graduating class don’t, either?”

 

 

“I don’t mean that but I just want to stay out of trouble.”

 

 

And I don’t want to see anyone get hurt because of me.

 

 

(A few Months Later…)

 

 

“Hannah, do you know why you’re here?”

 

 

“No, I don’t.”

 

 

“Are you sure?”

 

 

“Yes.”

 

 

But I know what I did to get in here…

 

 

“What happened for you to come here? Something having to do with your school, I think it was?”

 

 

This is so f*****g annoying…

 

 

“The Guidance Councilor asked me what I would do if I had a Machete and I said I’d cut somebody.”

 

 

“Would you?”

 

 

“No.”

 

 

“Really?”

 

 

“Yes.”

 

 

“Then why did you say that?”

 

 

Because I really would smart a*s…

 

 

“I just said what I thought he wanted to hear.”

 

 

Hannah, Aged Seventeen

 

 

“Today’s your birthday, isn’t it?”

 

 

“Yeah, what of it?”

 

 

“Don’t you find it weird spending your 17th birthday in a Psychiatric Ward?”

 

 

Nah, something tells me it won’t be the first time…

 

 

“Not really.”

 

 

“You know, if you really don’t belong here you should get out fast.”

 

 

“Why?”

 

 

"Don’t you know what happens to kids at this Boston Hospital?”

 

 

Somehow I don’t want to know…

 

 

Not really…”

 

 

“If you come here twice or more it gets harder to get released. Take Peter for example. He’s getting sent to a state hospital.”

 

 

“How come?”

 

 

“A staff member saw the notebook he was writing in and based on that he’ll probably never go home ever.”

 

 

That doesn’t sound so bad. Maybe I should do something so I won’t have to go home…

 

 

“That’s too bad. I really like him.”

 

 

“Yeah, but that’s the way things are.”

 

 

(A few weeks later)

 

 

“Hannah, is that really you?”

 

 

“Yeah.”

 

 

“What happened to you, girl?”

 

 

“Um…”

 

 

“Last I saw you was like months ago! We though something happened to you!”

 

 

“You mean people missed me?”

 

 

“Of course! If you miss too many days you can’t graduate!”

 

 

I had no idea people cared…

 

 

“I’m glad to be back!”

 

 

(A few months later)

 

 

“Oh, my gosh! It’s my daddy!”

 

 

“Well, what do you know? He must’ve got lucky to come back from the war alive.”

 

 

“Hannah, I’ve missed you.”

 

 

“I missed you, too.”

 

 

“I promise I’ll spend more time with you.”

 

 

That is so good to hear. Just so long as I don’t have be around HER…

 

 

Hannah, Aged Eighteen

 

 

“So do you have any plans for the summer?”

 

 

“I was going back to this Camp Program I did last summer.”

 

 

“Was that fun?”

 

 

“I enjoyed it a lot!”

 

 

“What age kids did you work with last time?”

 

 

“Preschool kids. It was a lot of fun.”

 

 

“It certainly sounds like it. You should smile more. It suits you.”

 

 

I wish I had more of a reason to…

 

 

“Maybe…”

 

 

(A few weeks later)

 

 

“You can’t take my car keys!”

 

 

“Yes I can!”

 

 

“I’m 18 years old! I’m an adult!”

 

 

“And I’m your mother! As long as you live in my house you have to do what I say.”

 

 

“Then I won’t live here anymore!”

 

 

“Where would you go?”

 

 

“I’ll just live with my father.”

 

 

“That washed up has-been don’t give a damn about you!”

 

 

“Yes, he does!”

 

 

“That’s what you think!”

 

 

“He’s still my father.”

 

 

“Ha! All he ever did was give the sperm that made you! That’ all he ever did. I’m the one who’s been raising you for 18 years now. That man doesn’t give a damn about you!”

 

 

“Can you just stop talking about my father?”

 

 

“Did he brainwash you?”

 

 

“No, of course not!”

 

 

“Sounds like it to me.”

 

 

“I don’t want you talking about him in front in front of me.”

 

 

“Who cares? I can talk about whoever I want!”

 

 

No, you can’t.

 

 

“Stop it or else I’ll—“

 

 

“Or else what?”

 

 

I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you right now!

 

 

“This isn’t right.”

 

 

“I didn’t ask you that.”

 

 

Hannah, Aged Nineteen

 

 

“So, why do you think we should hire you?”

 

 

Because my mentally unstable mother wants to drive me insane! If I have to deal with it any longer I’m gonna go on a killing spree!

 

 

“Because I feel it is something that I can do for 10 months. I like a good challenge and this is one I can see taking a shot at.”

 

 

“I see. You know, Members of this Program may be asked to speak to the press or in front of a group. Would that be difficult?”

 

 

You have no idea…

 

 

“That would scare the living daylights out of me.”

 

 

“Have you ever done it before?”

 

 

“The one time I did, I had an anxiety attack.”

 

 

“I see…”

 

 

(A few weeks later)

 

 

“What do you mean you can’t hire me anymore?”

 

 

“I’m sorry but due to budget cuts we’ve had to turn away some people. You have no idea how saddened I am with having to tell you this.”

 

 

“How can this be right? I was told I had the job!”

 

 

“I know that, but because of some cuts in spending at the federal level we had no choice but to turn down 60 of our applicants.”

 

 

(A few days later)

 

 

“Why don’t you get a job? There’s bills that need to be paid!”

 

 

“I’ve been trying!”

 

 

“Maybe not hard enough! Get off your lazy a*s and go find a job!”

 

 

“I’m not lazy!”

 

 

“You’re unemployed!”

 

 

“Only for a little bit!”

 

 

“And it needs to stop. Either find a job or get the hell out my house!”

 

 

“Even when I get one I won’t be able to start right away.”

 

“I know that, but try to find one anyway.”

 

“What do you care if I work or not? You’ll just ask me for money!”

 

“No I don’t.”

 

“Yes, you do! When I have a job you suddenly want to keep asking me for money. All you give a damn about is money! I can go without money!”

 

“That’s what you think. You must not know the value of money.”

 

And you don’t know the value of breathing…

 

“Yes, I do.”

 

“I don’t think so.”

 

“And I don’t think you know the value of living.”

 

“What does that mean?”

 

You’re about to find out…

 

“This Machete will show you!”

Now Shut up and BLEED, you evil mother--

 

Hannah, Aged Twenty-One

 

“We the jury find the defendant guilty of all charges!”

 

“I sentence you to life in Prison. Parole hearing will be in 10 years time.”

 

(A few months later)

 

“So, what are you in for?”

 

“I murdered my mother.”

 

“Are you serious?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“What did she do to you?”

 

You have no idea. In fact, nobody really cares.

 

“Robbed me of everything.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yep.”

 

“I’d like to hear about it.”

 

"Maybe you will…someday.”

---

Yeah, that some something else. When they found what I just did they dropped all the charges and I was released into dad's custody. Then he found out I got pregnant and everything went to hell in a basket. The upside, of course was I met Finneran Xavier Toss...

---

 

March

 

“What do you mean, ‘you’re pregnant’?”

 

“We trusted you!”

 

“I’m sorry!”

 

“Sorry is not good enough! OUT! GET OUT!

 

“What?!”

 

“I said leave! If you’re old enough to make babies you’re old enough to be on your own!”

 

“But I have nowhere to go!”

 

“Go live with the man that did this to you!”

 

(Slams door closed)

 

It’s cold out here…

 

(30 minutes later)

 

“So, your parents kicked you out?”

 

“Yeah. They said I should live with you.”

 

“Well, stay with me then. I don’t have much but it is my kid we’re talking about.”

 

“Thanks…”

 

April

 

“Rob, I got a job!”

 

“Really? Where?”

 

“I got a job working at the stock exchange.”

 

“Wow, they really pay a lot, too! That’s amazing!”

 

May

 

“So let me get this right—you’re living with your boyfriend?”

 

"Yeah, after my parents kicked me out. He’s all I really have now.”

 

“Wow, that’s amazing. Do your parents know?”

 

“They don’t even care! They packed up and moved to Alaska. Rob is all I have left.”

 

“That is bad. At least he’ll be looking out for you.”

 

June

 

“Robert, NO!”

 

“I’m sorry ma’am. He’s dead.”

 

“Why would someone want to kill him…?

 

“Lady, you got me…”

 

July

 

“Can you give me a lift?

 

“Where to?”

 

“I don’t care.”

 

“Get in.”

 

September

 

“This is as far as I can take you.”

 

“Thanks for the lift.”

 

August

 

“I need a room.”

 

“Sorry, no vacancy. Why not try the homeless shelter?”

 

September

 

I’m so hungry! What am I going to do? This kid’s is going to need me to eat!

 

“Excuse me, but are you looking for extra help?”

 

“Come back after you have your kid. Then we’ll talk.”

 

(Slams door shut)

 

October

 

Wow, I can’t believe I made it all the way to Little Rock! Where should I go first…?

 

“Hey, are you looking for a free meal?”

 

“Why, yes. What’s the catch?”

 

“No catch at all! I’m opening a new restaurant in a few days and I’m looking for random folks to test out the system. Care to participate? You’ll be given a monetary compensation as well.”

 

“Ok, I’ll do it!”

 

“Glad to have you, Miss—“

 

“My name’s Hannah.”

 

“Good to have you then, Hannah. I’m sure you and your baby are going to love our food!”

 

(A few weeks later)

 

“Oh, excuse me!”

 

“No, the fault is mine. And I made you drop your things! Here, let me help you.”

 

“Thanks…”

 

“My name’s Finneran by the way.”

 

“My name’s Hannah.”

 

“You don’t look local. Do you know people in Little Rock?”

 

“I just moved here from Boston, actually.”

 

“Boston! I have family in Boston. I moved here for a job. I’m sure you must miss home.”

 

“My family is gone…”

 

“Whoa, that’s something else. I’d like to hear about it.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Of course.”

---

Fast forward to today and everything turns out fine. To me, meeting Fin was the best thing that ever happened to me. My son, Ted would agree to that fully.