Sleepless

Just dealing with thoughts on a sleepless night.

I closed my eyes and listened as the soft notes of the music drifted around me. It was 1:00 in the morning and once again I couldn't sleep. I tried to relax. But it didn't matter, I was a "night person", that's when all my creative engines kick in. I tried reading a psychological self-help book on how to deal with depression; a demon that has haunted me from an abusive childhood. But my mind kept wandering so I picked up my unfinished scarf that I was crocheting. The pattern said it was beginner friendly which is why I chose it. The rhythmic motion of the crochet hook looping through the thread allowed my thoughts to roam freely. I thought about a scripture quote I had seen on my facebook thread that I had re-shared. It was about how God is our mighty protector. Things get confusing when people talk about good and evil and why does God let bad things happen. I've never questioned God's goodness though horrible things have happened to me. I guess its because I accept that along side good there is evil and we as humans aren't perfect so we're gonna do things that lead us into harm or somebody, something else will. But if we call on God and trust Him He will hear and answer our prayer and bring us out of the bad stuff.
Then I thought of my nephew, who had just been saved, how he was killed with a knife by his brother. The mother died shortly thereafter her heart broken and overcome with grief. Our minds are fragile things and in this crazy world we must hold on tight. Yes there is evil and bad things happen to good people and life is not fair. But there is also goodness and beauty and forgiveness. Forgiveness of ourselves, of each other and of God. Forgive, trust God, and focus on good. That has become my life motto. It's how I hold on and keep going because there is a future ahead of me.
My arms tire and I lay down the crochet hook and fold up my nearly finished scarf. Sleep peeks around the corner and I grab it.

Reviews

[Kreative Kana]

'Sleep peeks around the corner and I grab it.' I love this sentence. It personalizes sleep. Great job!
Yes, God will help us if we ask!