Richard Bongos the Neurotic Salesman

     One day a man named Richard Bongos was drawing in a large office building inherited from his father. Bongos had a business partner known as Jon Johnston. 

“Johnston, gimme the numbers.” said Bongos as he was rapidly tapping his fingers on his desk.

 Johnston was very uncomfortable in the presence of his partner.

“Uh, 34, 90, 18, and 69.”  Bongos sprung from his chair.

“GOD DAMNIT JOHNSTON THAT’S JUST WHAT WE NEEDED. Now how have you and the team been coming up with the new toy concept? Time is money, don’t you know?”

“Not so well. The boys are burnt out on ideas.”

“Oh my god oh my god OH MY GOD!” cried Bongos rubbing his fingers through his hair.

Bongos stormed into an office with a large oval shaped table with several men and one woman sitting at it notebooks and pens.

“You better have something good for me right now or you’re fired!”  Bongos yelled at no one in particular. 

 An employee named Charleston spoke up.

“Okay, okay, hear me out on this. We get an inflatable tube that you can wrap around yourself, and then you bump into other people with it knocking them over! WE’LL CALL IT BUMPER BALL!”

Bongos looked puzzled, and then looked up briefly. Bongos straightened out his blazer and looked darkly at Charleston.

“Remember that raise you asked for? WELL YOU JUST F****N’ GOT IT!” Bongos yelled with a grin on his face, and with that, the Bumper Ball was in development. Two and half months passed, and the bumper ball was almost ready to be shipped. It was a quiet evening one day, and Bongos called in his partner. Bongos was gazing out his window, sitting in his chair. 
“Johnston, you know why I joined this business?”

 “Because you got a free ride from your father?”

“Excuse me? No. No. When I was a little guy, my pop always knew I was a born salesman, and this being my first project, I’d hate for it to go awry.  I need a partner to secure this for me.  You’re my right hand man, can you do this for me?”

“S**t man I guess I can.”

“Thank you Johnston.”

The final build of the new toy was complete and was ready to be produced and be put on shelves. Day one of the Bumper Ball being out, the sales were immaculate. Hundreds and hundreds of bumper balls were being sold.  Soon hundreds of thousands of them left the shelves.  Bumper ball couldn't be more popular.  Everyone bought them. The demographic spanned from small children to middle aged adults. Johnston showed Bongos the sales report. With a smile growing on his face looking through the reports, Bongos exclaimed

“POP THE CHAMPAGNE JOHNSTON! WE DID IT YA SON OF A B***H”

That evening Bongos and Johnston went out to a strip club to snort blow.  It was easy street from this point. The money they've made from the Bumper Ball could secure them for another 60 years. They woke up the next morning in Johnston’s apartment with tattered suits and hangovers. Bongos called a cab and went home.  Early at work the next morning, Bongos sat at his desk. Johnston came running in to his office panicked with news headlines trembling in his hands.

“OH GOD BONGOS IT’S TERRIBLE. MILLIONS ARE DEAD.”

“What?!” Bongos said, jumping to his feet in horror.
“THE BUMPER BALLS ARE DEATH MACHINES. WE’RE ON A HIT LIST FOR MASS MURDER.”
“Oh dear god we REALLY BIT THE BIG ONE.” Bongos paused. “Wait, I thought I put you in charge or this. I had literally nothing to do with this. Did you test these? See how they were designing these?”
Johnston looked guilty and frightened, and then was suddenly relieved. “No, I didn’t test these. Or see how they were designing them. I also had no part in making this. I just commissioned the idea with the Charleston’s money.” 
Bongos slowly pulled out some more champagne from under his desk.
“Johnston you dog! We hire a lawyer, a good one. We had no part in this! We can just sue Charleston out the a*s!”

Johnston hugged Bongos and jumped around. The whole incident wasn't a problem at all for them. Johnston and Bongos went to court and proved they had no part in the mass murder. They had to use 50% of their earnings to return to the families whose members lost their lives. The other 50% they spent on blow and alcohol. Charleston and the team that worked on Bumper Ball were put up on death row. Johnston felt kind of bad so he bailed them out. They spent a total of two weeks in jail. After all, Johnson and Bongos need their team to develop a new concept.

        The End.