Being Fired

Blah

Today was erroneous
Not an elaborate thought process needed
a given conclusion
leading to a headache
as hard hitting as a concussion
coming from the derrier of his mind
he makes his final aruba
Not taking in my dialectic rebuttals
there were now lakes instead of puddles
Another porous moment
to the point to where my veins bleed sodium
dry due to the anger
Ice cream can't fix this matter
not even a klondike
No worries
I still have my radiance

Reviews

[CharlieO]

I think this is good write - well written and packed with imagery and feeling. I think it could do with a little work - but that is just my personal opinion.
I think your opening works well - your diction is spot on. The pace works well given the subject matter. Your combination of images is great - it captures your thoughts and emtions well and makes this a pome people can really sympathise with - we have all had a crappy day which nothing seems to fix.
Congrats on this well written and personal poem.

[Dug]

If a Klondike won't fix it, nothing will.