Life

I took a stanza from a poem I was writing for English class and adapted it into its own poem.

Life is naught but an unfilled expectation,

Open your eyes and remove the probation,

There’s a vibration coming from this starvation,

Of the soul, the mind, the brain’s frustration.

 

Seize the day, create your own way.

Mold yourself, and then break the clay.

Strike the iron, fan the flames,

Harvest your labor, and reap your claims.

 

Why do you doubt? Your mind’s in some drought,

Of knowledge? In pain? With nothing to gain?

Do you hate to lose time, counting each chime?

Grasp each second, savor the mind’s sublime.

 

Let yourself go, and open your soul,

To let it all in, to make you whole.

Hold the feeling, and don’t let it leave,

It’s one thing that not many achieve.

 

Look at life’s current flowing around you.

Feel it, caress it, and let it surround you.

Let its waves take you, and don’t fight for control.

Be swept along, and ride it to death’s shoal.

Author's Note

Constructive criticism please! I want to improve as a high school writer.

Reviews

[Bee C.]

Wow, this is intense. I love the imagery you've used here, it's very vivid and powerful, and emphasises your message very well. I'm especially fond of the second and third stanzas - the former reads almost like a chant or mantra, and I like the questions you pose in the latter, as you would when thinking freely on a topic. I honestly love this. Brilliant work.

[Brandon Lee]

Thank you!