Logos Apatheia

(the last words of a stoic poet)

Into my soul, I could not see,

a serpent, hidden within me.

Down in the depths, of this planetary sea.

There lies the Leviathan, born of men's dreams.

To be in at the death.

To speak with this last breath.

I bled a debt.

To promises, men have never kept.

(To this I must confess, before my body will rest)

Clothed in cloth sown of a common thread.

We all live tributes to the dead.

Thor, during the battle of good and evil,

killed the serpent with a final blow.

Only to survive nine paces before

succumbing to its poison.

Pray in behalf of  those who bleed, 

For they are the ones who are in need. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Annalisa]

Oh wow. This is..... amazing. It's powerful and one of the best things I've read in a long time. There was one line that was awkward "To be in at the death" and didn't make sense but other than that this was amazing. I love the allusion to mythology, it gave this a old world feel almost. This was amazing. I'm steeling it for my favorites.

[Forest Green]

Dark and compelling. Very well thought out. I enjoyed your poem very much.

Nice work...

[Nely Amorim]

this piece flowed smoothly and the content imagery was very intriguing, i enjoyed reading this very much :)

[Bhavya Kaushik]

This is great!
I liked the imagery in it a lot and even the flow has been maintained so well throughout it which is very much appealing to any reader!
And that story within is just terrific!
Awesome!!!

[Robert Luna]

Truly enjoyed the flow of your words as well as the imagery you painted so perfectly. I love story within the story. Give validation to your own experience of the interaction with the same beast of burden. I think you have something pretty great here.


Great Job!!!!!!!

[Adela Muresan]

Wow.
Great poem. I like the imagery and the legend you penned in it.
The thing that impressed me is the nobility of the thought in the last two verses, and the fact that you do not point the evil in others but inside yourself.

A.M.

[RHEA CROSLEY]

Pray in behalf of those who bleed,
For they are the ones who are in need. An important reminder. As a people we are only as strong as our support of those in need. I truly believe this is the measuring stick. Very good write with a smooth flow.