The Wolf And The God Hermes

 The coat slides down my arm and onto my back. Its raining outside again. The umbrella will stay here though. I will need both of my hands today. I open the door and splash out and into the cold. Everything seems gray when its raining. Pretty faces look plain. My sins feel closer to my heart, and scars burn deeper into my soul. The wind teases old trees. Threatening to take away what years of hope and sunshine have given.

The sidewalk curves around a small neighborhood and brings me to Dellwood park. There I find myself fighting the storm. I shield my eyes from the sting of rain, and make my way toward the flooded river. I see him there waiting for me. Just like he said he would. He greets me with a handshake. I wipe my eyes and look into his. They reflect my image, and bring the thought of what im about to do.

There in the corner of my view. I look up to see a bird. A bird of beauty and grandeur. Time slows as the rain dances on its chest of red and gold. This bird is the conception of beauty. A reminder of the mystery in nature, and the wonder that is god.

I look back at the man in front of me and wrap my hands around his neck. We fall into the mud. Screams match the thunder. It makes me deaf to the world. I squeeze harder until his legs slow, and his moaning stops. Then I glance up into the sky while I comb my hair back with my fingertips. The bird spreads its wings in a graceful way only a bird of its magnificence can. The red and gold bird takes flight. Flapping its wings toward heaven. The place of its birth, and taking with it a soul.

Like a punch in the face, mud flows, and my feet fall from under me. In the waking life, there on the ground, I lay. With my head on a rock my vision redirects into the minds eye, spirals down through the darkness, and then into the light. I look up at the sky to see white kissed by gold, and caressed by blue. Here, where the ocean meets hills that sweep like the delicate strokes of a piano key, is where I rest.

There, in the corner of my view. I see a wolf, thin with an eternal hunger.

 

Author's Note

I wanted to write something vauge and experimental.

Reviews

[Shadows of Sight]

The image's are strong and powerful. I felt as if you were dipicting a modern day spector of death. Coming to clean the garbage from the streets. Like an assisin blessed with the hand of god, till all the garbage was gone, then he himself would find redemption. For he was the last of the garbage.

A dark and stormy tale.
Well writin with many subtle hits at other things.

[Tina Kline]

This is a very interesting story. I like the image of the bird as a thing of beauty appearing
and then flying to heaven as if taking the soul after
the ugly deed was done and the coming of the thin wolf, the not so beautiful
as if conjured by the ugly deed.

Tina

[jen -- JG]

I like this one a lot, it easy to read and flows well. The imagery is strong and effective.

I like the description of the killing - and the soul's release via the vibrant bird.

I see this story as coming from the point of view of an assasin/ murderer who doesn't really like his job and sees himself as being 'dirt"

The ending is perfect because he doesn't know what happened to him- the assasin has been assinated and the "dirt" washed away just as he said it would be.

Not my kinda bedtime story Brandon, but an excellent write, just the same.

Well done.

[Kit]

what a powerful write... your words are intricate and I must admit I wanted to read it twice to make sure I got everything. I love the ending.

[Sally Edwards]

Well, I enjoyed reading this , it was nicely descriptive and it took me a couple of reads to get the plot. The only thing I couldn't work out was the bedtime story bit. It's certainly not a bedtime story I would read to my children

[Fabian G. Franklin]

very good descriptive use in this, I didn't quite know what to make of the ending

[Catrinka]

Brandon, this is really good! Award for favorite line: "Pretty faces look plain, my sins feel closer to my heart, and scars burn deeper into my soul." A couple of incomplete sentences that you can fix, other than that, really nice work - I too like to read (and write) either dark stuff with a streak of light or vica versa, which you've done very well here!

[Bhavya Kaushik]

I liked the imagination part a lot and the story indeed is quite strong, just need a quick polishing.
It is somehow very dark and vivid, which is very good in it's own way( because I love to read dark work)
So, overall it's a nice read :)

[Hedra Helix]

wow, thats' really strong, I agree with Danielle, a tweak here and there, but its over all flow is wonderfully crafted, the story changes effortlessly, it's vague and certain at once, concrete and dreamlike, like cream mixing into black coffee. The sentence with the bird and God and how then in the next sentence your hands are around his neck is brave and refreshing. I like how you leave mysteries around but your imagery is so strong it holds it all together. Wow;)

hey one specific, : bird spreads is(its?) wings in a graceful

very nice.

[Danielle Asher]

if it is staying a story i really like it as is. I mean you can tweak lines and clean it up a bit but at your discrestion. I really like you you set up your view of the rainy day. Your thoughts, the pretty faces looking dull, and all that. When you get to the image of the bird it is almost like I am watching something in black and white but the bird is in color. Now if this is just a story I would read this and not think much about who the man is. I mean I would think about it but differently knowing my answers are not going to come out in the next chapter. Of course this sounds like a story you could turn into something that continues. I would want to read more if you wrote more and yet I like it this way. I hope that was not too confusing. lol
I think you have a great style for painting images and emotions that go with them. I felt lke in the last part when you said you ran your fingertips through your hair, I could feel it as well as the rain.
please send me more requests anytime. I truly enjoy your work.