Devotion

 

All I know is

all I gave to you.

From my whole.
From my heart.
From my soul.
And we sliped away
unseen.
For the first time
in bright white light.
I want you gone.
I wish it gone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Todd]

This is moving - one of the best poems about love and all that follows that I've read in a while. That you kept it short is definitely an asset. I think that you give just enough in the words you have here that it remains powerful instead of drawn out. And the ending is very well done, also. My one suggestion would be maybe to break it into two stanzas after the line "unseen." since the last four lines seem to move to a different tone. Just a suggestion. It's also great as is.

[Kara Emily Krantz]

this is intense, profound, and quite beautiful.

only those who have been there understand the process which takes us to this place, where we could honestly say and write something like this. and we know the pain (and the previous poetry) that would have brought us to this place.

to be WILLING, and wanting.. to rid ourselves of that light, of that hope - is huge. but its' such an important step, and even though it sounds sad, it's terribly freeing, and a place that hopefully we all reach, if the thing or person we're holding onto is not worthy of us...

yes this one really touched me.
fantastic job my dear

[Robert Luna]

I did not pick up any sadness in this piece at all. This is very deep. Left me thinking and reflecting in a way that I am not sure others could appreciate. I felt the pain and woe of the words. But at the same time in the same breath even I felt the power of conviction of a powerful person realizing that the path in which they find themselves is something they have the power to change and no longer have to play the part of the victim and can and well survive the cruelty of the relationship but by leaving have learned the importances of their inner strength.


Great Job!!!!!!

[Bhavya Kaushik]

This is wonderful!
Short yet vivid and so powerful.
Very much poignant and full of emotions..
I'm moved!

[Nely Amorim]

I don't think of any poetry as depressing, as in most cases it is healing. You piece is well written and poignant.

[Catrinka]

I am also a fan of straight and to the point, no frills kind of writing that you have here. And it is a relief to realize that it's time to make a change. Good for you!

[♥ Courtney &hear..]

Wow this is wonderful! :) Its so simple and beautiful. It definitely put a large smile on my face... great job!!

-Courtney

[Ember]

I like this poem a lot, actually. I've been there before, not fun. It all goes together very easily, and the phrases are interesting. Good job.

[Sally Edwards]

Great poem, very poignant when you realise it's time to move one and get on with your life, very well written.

[Danielle Asher]

what i wonder is do you wish it gone, but it is still there? or is it gone and you wish it gone from you? do you know what I am asking? that feeling of attachment to something you just want gone so bad- the wanting it to be over already- you are done feeling.
I mean it sounds like this was the first time in the light of day, you admitted it was done. It was time to let it go. but you make it sound so simple.