A Boy is Born

A boy is born helpless and frail,

Not long will this last, for soon will kick in,

The instincts of a male.

 

And as they play catch, out on the lawn,

Father says "Feels like yesterday you were born"

Forever will this boy try, to out do his old man,

Dawn after dawn.

 

As the child grows older,

Father proud, as his son reaches his shoulder,

A smile reaches across his face,

As his son finally moves the bigger boulder.

 

And one day they stand, face to face,

In a delivery room,

Where there is no race,

Both men stand tall,

As a new little boy,

 

Enters the world,

 

And takes his fathers place.

 

 

Reviews

[Red Brick Keshner]

When a boy turns into a young man and becomes a father the first time ever, the cycle is completed and the rite of passage succeeded.

[Coyote Poetry]

Life is a constant movement of life and death. Still a lot of pain and sadness can be learn in a long life. I believe we need to find good things to keep us hopeful and strong. I like the way you wrote the story in the poem. A good ending to a excellent poem.
Coyote

[Brittany Russum]

I can feel your presence within this truly wonderful piece of work. The rhyme scheme works well with this poem. Beautifully written

[Miss Coral]

Oh rhyme schemes, why must you plague me so? This is a nice concept, yes. You have a decent sense of rhythm and I can appreciate some of the figurative concepts you've incorporated, but please, lose the rhyme scheme, and if you don't do that, don't make it forced and inconsistent. Rhyming is difficult; you have to incorporate your concepts and structure them into rhymes without allowing the rhymes to dominate or detract from your words at all, which is something that didn't quite work here.
Allow yourself to breathe a bit in your poetry. You obviously have the desire to write and you have a nice mind for it, but you're forcing it.
Nice piece overall.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A true and classy piece, well done

[Coffee Vampier]

Very heart warming :)

[EMF]

Absolutley f*****g brilliant. I hope that was reserved enough.