Locked in the dark

What does it mean truly to be happy? 

Does it mean you smile and laugh? 

Or are you simply not sad? 

Tis a question that has long plagued me. 

Easy enough to pretend to be happy. 

To walk in the light and pretend you belong. 

Until you realize you will never belong. 

Not in the light. Not entirely in the dark. 

Alone in the void. Between light and dark. 

That place legends often refer to as Limbo. 

How can I truly be in the dark when I walk through the light. 

Barely enduring it but enduring it all the same. 

How can I be in the light when my soul is locked in the dark?

Trapped by the demons.

At times I can feel the torment my wretched soul endures locked in the dark pit.

At times I can feel the flames coming off the pit.

The flames with no light.

The pain without end.

The screaming without sound.

In the light things are not much better for my soulless body.

Surrounded by creatures of the light.

Yet still always alone.

Pained by the fact that I am different.

Misunderstood.

Judged.

Ridiculed.

Insulted.

How can I live in the light when my soul is locked in the dark? Subject to the torture of demons