A mere arm's length away

The everyday reality of being together long after the love light burns out.

Just barely an arms length away,
Yet with so much space between the two, We are physically Together yet with our hearts miles apart. The heavy rain on the tin roof cries out into the unbroken silence of the night. The only life here is the muted movement on the television. I gaze blankly at the white angled ceiling, with beams of the passing vehicle's headlights dancing about briefly. Regardless if we try to speak the words never seem to be right. Once Something that started out with a flame so vivid and so bright has burnt out. Now we remain with the endless cold dark silent nights, both waiting quietly for inevitable end of yet another beautiful beginning.

Author's Note

Hope you enjoy

Reviews

[Emma]

Beautifully put. I like that you describe the atmosphere rather than your feelings as it creates such a strong sense of how cold and uncommunicative the relationship is-instead of a expression of your feelings it feels like an gift to the reader to find their own their memories like that. I am curious about why you decided to do it as a paragraph rather than stanzas?
Well done

[Bmmed94]

Im glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for that. I wasn't really attempting to create an image. I was trying to create a feeling. I felt that you could better understand my feelings through truly understanding the atmosphere. A feeling is an instantaneous thing. It would be hard to imagine with the pauses used in stanzas. Also if I would've placed all of my emphasis on just my feelings, then the reader would have missed a crucial aspect of it. I hope that answered it.

[Emma]

Yes I completely agree that the atmosphere shows your feeling stronger than any words could. I can see how stanzas could ruin the flow, although when you carry on over lines it doesn't often do that. I like to see something laid out differently though as most people do use stanzas.

[Bmmed94]

Again I'm really glad you could relate and enjoyed. Thanks again

[.]

Yet another beautiful beginning. Imagery of the atmosphere was great Thanks for sharing

[Yari Garcia]

There's wonderful imagery in this piece. It really put me in the setting and allowed me to see and hear everything. I particularly liked "Together yet with our hearts miles apart." Speaks volumes.

Yari

[Diane]

I like this. After reading my heart ached for a moment. Then I remembered if was true you can get it back. The is how we make things last. Very bittersweet read. Good job making us feel.

[duff]

I like it. Distance can either make or break us. Been there and it's not easy. It's not for the soft. The salad days or the beginning days come on strong and you just never know how it will turn out. We roll the dice i guess. Nice work

[wordman]

but it was beautiful while it lasted,and i wonder,does real love ever die

[Bmmed94]

That's a good question.

[wordman]

my pleasure