Swallowing The Landscape Whole

I should probably be in school right now.

My dreams always wake me up before I can sleep much,
meaning I can't sleep late at all.
Always awake in the early hours of the morning,
wishing,
and wanting everything that I can't have,
that I am constantly reminded of each,
and every time I sleep.
The fact of the matter is,
no matter how hard I try,
I just can't escape these mellow thoughts,
and comfortable landscapes.
I can't escape from the small things that take my breath away,
and the even bigger things that could never,
ever happen.
I mean,
it's not like anyone told me no or anything.
It's just not in the cards.
Now my dreams are eating up my reality;
swallowing the landscape whole,
as if it was just a trick in front of our eyes.
Turning everything black to white,
water to fire,
light to ashes.
Something i'll never again want to be a part of,
as if I do already.
Now what i'm trying to do is grow back the garden that has been stomped countless times,
the one that lies only in my heart,
with the sunset flowers,
and the purple skies.
The only place I could ever feel at home because at this point in my life I have seen all there is to see,
and I know all there is to know,
including the people of this town I reside in.
In a few years,
maybe,
maybe i'll have a chance to show just what I have,
and I feel like I am already,
but no one notices.
Atleast not to the point that I want them to.