With All The Love In The World

I don't know somethings wrong with me probs?

i'm making much less of an impact than I think I am,
and sometimes I think i'm putting far too much effort into things for them not to go a little bit better.

Your eyes still rip me to pieces,
and I don't know if it's the lost love, or the many memories, and first times, or friendship, or the trust, but there's so much and I guess feeling it all in one instant could make you shudder just a little bit.

Now everything is falling into place.

and i'm not sure if it's the ignorance for innocence,
or the ability to realize the world is beautiful,
but everything is crystal clear,
and it's screaming me things i've always said,
but never meant,
and things I said I did,
but really was too scared,
and now that all these feelings are coming back to me I can't do a damn thing,
because it's too late,
and it's been too long,
and I never would expect anything from anyone anymore,
and I don't know why i'm the lucky one who feels this bittersweet loneliness,
but things never change, people become history with differant faces,
and differant names,
but all bearing purposes, many of them very small,
but I have so much I have to expect from myself because I know that
I
can
make
a
difference,
and I can't just
let
that
pass,
because now that I know I can do anything,
I am.

I never wanted to be a god damn thing,
and now that I feel like I have to be someone I am going to do everything,
and see everything,
and learn everything,
and be everyone,
because in all simplicity I think my purpose is something I cannot comprehend,
and i'm not going to fall prey to any more of these temporary cancers that I always seem to bring about,
but you can't blame me for feeling the way I do,
and I can't begin to tell you how much I hate you with all the love in the world.

So now,
at the end of this waterfall I am drowning,
alone,
softly as if it were a mother smothering her baby with a pillow,
with all the love in the world,
the softness of a strangers hand,
to take us off to places that we can stand.

I never did find a place to call home.