Recollection Of Heaven.

A dream I had.

And it felt like summer.
I was there alone,
sitting by the gates like a child left behind.
Like a soldier on a mission,
or atleast that's how it felt.
The people I was supposed to meet never showed up,
but I did find some familiars,
and some not so familiar.
Here, where it was always 8 o clock,
where the night began,
and nothing else was a priority except to live.
The way that it felt was unlike anything felt in a long time,
how it felt so safe,
and secure,
and how there was nothing troubling me,
nothing in the world.

For awhile there I couldn't think,
as I was just watching the sky,
and letting the scene fall into place.
Convincing myself that this was just another night,
and to play it cool;
that this was the start of many more,
and I don't know what I fell in love with at that carnival,
but it seems like I fell in love with just about everything.
I can't remember what I was wearing,
or how I looked at all,
but I know that I looked beautiful,
because everything else that took my eyes off of myself made me feel that way.
I remember seeing some people I knew on the moonbounce,
I remember seeing some people in the stands,
I remember walking past some people,
and when I went to look back one of them was looking to,
and that made me smile,
and all I ever wanted to do was stare, forever.
All I wanted were these moments to last.

Did I catch a break?
I didn't pay to get in here,
or pay for any rides,
or pay for any games,
or do anything to deserve this.
Clarity comes with time,
and after all these days of living in a haze,
the smoke has cleared,
and what has come out is not man,
or machine.
It's not human,
nor alien.
It's not labeled,
or named.
I am me,
I am a soul,
a beautiful, articulate soul,
who only wants to express all of this,
all of these feelings of youth,
and of hope,
and of love,
and of peace.
Who only wants to paint this world;
who wants to paint a picture for all to see,
because sometimes I think if people could see what I see,
then everyone would care,
and everyone would understand.

If only time stood still then I wouldn't be called a liar,
for that night lasted forever.
If you don't rely on time then it is not there,
it's not an option,
not a fact,
and not something you have to live by.
I spent my time slowly examining,
I remember kissing that girl who's name I didn't even know,
and how love is often horribly misconstrued,
and even if that's the case,
our feelings of love are still feelings of love.
How I held you in my arms,
and you looked up at me while I was looking up at the stars,
and i'm sorry that I couldn't catch your eyes with mine at that moment,
because I was looking up;
looking ahead.
The stars,
who shine with the magnitude of a hundred,
thousand,
million fireflies.
The intensity something I could never create with my own hands,
something that I could never stop looking at because at the time all I wanted was to be one of them.
One in a million,
but without each one in a million there would be nothing at all,
and even if I wouldn't be standing out completely,
atleast i'd be shining,
shining like fire.

We held hands as we walked,
you didn't know my name,
and I didn't know yours,
and I didn't know your three friends,
and they didn't know me,
and no one cared,
because everyone understood.
A few feet, which we had turned to miles beneath the streetlights,
because of our shadows,
and because of our legs,
which we were all unable to move fast,
because there was so much left to see,
and we all agreed that we couldn't let a moment pass us by because of that,
and if we thought hard enough,
and saw enough,
maybe we would learn something.
Something grand,
amazing,
or otherwise typical,
and even if that was the case it wouldn't matter because you can trust me when I say that
heaven
is
everywhere,
and we're all fallen angels,
fallen angels that have hit our heads,
and lost all recollection of heaven.
Angels like children,
still making their way,
growing their wings.
Training to stand tall,
training to grow strong,
training to grow wise.
Dreaming only of one day reaching back to that point in our lives,
and see where we went wrong,
so we could fix everything,
but for once in my life,
I had found perfection,
and there was nothing you,
or I,
or anyone could ever change about this night,
because as I sat there with that girl whose name I did not know,
and all of her friends which I felt so comfortable with,
with my arms around her stomach, breathing words into her ears,
words like bullets,
shooting through all the obvious things,
and leading the way through doors we hadn't even thought to be real.
I could've asked you to take my hand,
so I wouldn't of ever had to be alone again,
but I knew once the night was up that this night was up.
I knew we couldn't substitute memories for reality,
and I couldn't ask your name,
because that was something for some reason I had to leave anonymous.
"I'm confident in saying that even if we don't meet up on the road,
we'll meet at where we are all going,
because I know we're all going to the same places,
and even if roads don't cross,
and paths don't meet,
and even trails in the woods all look alike,
we're only passing by them,
and even if all the trees look like,
we know that we're all differant,
and we have hearts,
strong,
courageous,
beating hearts,
that are never going to let us down because I know I could never let myself down until I see things out to the end.
I may not see you after this night ends,
I may not know your name,
and I may not know much about you,
but I know what we felt was real,
and what this night taught us was real,
and that everything i've ever known is starting to come together because I never stopped dreaming.
I may not see you tomorow,
or the next day,
or the next,
but like I told you I can promise you wherever we end up,
whatever roads we take,
good or bad,
we're always going to keep going,
and we have hints sometimes,
and sometimes we get misled,
that's only a small distraction from our ultimate goal,
which I am still not sure what it is,
but I think it's a place,
a destination,
and I know i'll see you there,
if not sooner.
I can honestly say I love you,
maybe not in the traditional way,
or the true love way,
or whatever words you would want to use,
but I do love you,
and I hope to see you soon."
That is when you all started to leave,
where I waited alone at the gates,
watching you take off.
I started to walk back into the streets,
because I wanted to spend the rest of the night beneath the streetlights,
that is when I turned back,
and I saw that you had also turned back,
and I spun around,
and smiled at you,
and you smiled at me,
It felt was unlike anything felt in a long time,
how it felt so safe,
and secure,
and how there was nothing troubling me,
nothing in the world.,
and I swear that I could've sat there smiling forever,
and ever.

Like a soldier on a mission.

Reviews

[kbob]

beautifully written. Very detailed. You said you dreamed this? You must have a pretty wild imagination to come with something like this. Not that it's bizzarr or insane, but more that it's elegant in a nontraditional way. Great write

[Kerri[pollutes]]

i love this
and the thought of being fallen angels
:]