White in the open.

Shakespearian sonnet; 14 lines, pattern of ABABCDCDEFEFGG. !0 syllables a line.

Just how do I go about all of this?

Do I release my grip, or hold tighter?

Love is a seed, as you always insist,

i'm not sure if I can call you a liar.

Must often do our eyes play tricks upon us,

and sadly just so often do our heartts.

You will stumble hard if you try to rush,

and both must contrubute each their own part.

So set yourself bare here, holding no strife,

and let everyone be their own judge.

I have never felt like this my whole life,

because I had never truly loved.

I guess you are a dove, as it was meant,

I always had hints you were heaven sent.

 

Reviews

[Deseret]

i like your theme and your rhyming is nice, but sometimes it seems like you say something just to rhyme it with the word before it, for instance saying, i'm not sure i can call you a liar, makes it sound like you want to disagree with him but cant, so it sets off the entire mood of the poem.

[Poeticpiers]

A valiant attempt but your rhyming need a little work Slant rhymes are allowable occasionally but you can usually find a true rhyme. I liked your theme

I assume you prefer honesty in critique as you are trying to write formal poetry ivor aka poeticpiers