HAZEL

HAZEL

If you took the time
To look at me
To gaze in my eyes
You could see
Things to come
And things to be
A romantic life
Just you, and me

 

But you must look past
This brittle face
And see my soul
A loving grace

 

For in this life
There comes a time
Where his plans
Combine yours, and mine

 

So why not seize
This destined bond
Just stop, don't think
Lets go
On... And on

Reviews

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Gazing into someone's eyes is probably one of the most difficult things to do...just try it, whith anyone; look into their eyes for as long as possible without becoming nervous, afraid, laughing, etc. So, the idea here is a deep one...gazing into someone's eyes and truly "seeing" them and the bond that you could share with them. I've always said you will know true love when you find someone who you can just sit and stare at, eye to eye, and neither of you looks away.

[s y e]

Opening Comments
Looking into someones eyes are a very intimate thing, I done it once and giggled like a mad woman, it was awkward for me... but quite nice at the same time. It would be nice if you liked the person back.

Themes
I loved the romantic feel to the write, it's like looking into their soul, you want to see everything, find out everything.

Imagery
"A romantic life
Just you, and me" That's quite cute. I liked these lines, I never really looked at this way, to be honest.

Grammar and Spelling
I loved the wording, so much honesty and passion. It was great.

Closing Comments
Personally, I have stared into one guys eyes and it was awkward but my boyfriend keeps telling me he can't wait to look into mine, apparently he loves my blue eyes, haha.

This was great, I really enjoyed it.

[Kristin Lee]

I love the romantic notions in the poem. To look into someones eyes, really look into them does often offer so much more than people realize. It can truly feel like you are looking into their soul. This is a great piece. Thank you for sharing.

[Nick.B]

Looking into someone's eyes it's a very intimate thing, that only two persons who known themselves for quite a while can do that, great write

[Jack...]

Nice one Brad, though I think I would break down the first part into two 4 line verses or combine the 3rd and 4th verse so the poem looks a bit better. It won't change the flow, just the appearance.

[Sami Khalil]

A very good write...:)

[Bradley Layton]

thank you sami

[Sami Khalil]

My pleasure...

[icelandicblue]

The melding brings forth the bond you just have to believe.

[Bradley Layton]

thank you :)

[Baby Ricochet]

Good rhyming pattern. Holds itself together fairly well. Good job

[Bradley Layton]

rhyming isnt usually my best part, thank you