Self-Reflecting

                Sometimes it’s hard to face the world.

 Have you ever woken up in the morning, and the very first thought that enters your head is S**t? If so, then you know how many of my mornings have been. Especially recently. You pray to a God you don’t believe in to just push the sun back down, to let the light sink below the horizon for just a little while longer. But it won’t happen, and it doesn’t matter if it does suddenly turn to darkness, and you know your prayers were answered, because you know that eventually�" too soon�"the sun will poke its head out once more.

You just can’t win.

 It’s that feeling of utter emptiness, an unexplainable void, a hopelessness of which you think you will never recover. And most of my problems are of my own making. Still, it seems no matter how hard I try, no matter how well I begin to do, something happens that destroys the happiness I was able to obtain. It happens every single f*****g time.

I know I am my own worst enemy. I’d be lying if I denied that. But I also happen to know that I am a good person, someone that has always put others ahead of myself, their needs, their goals and dreams and wants. I’d give the shirt off my back to someone I felt deserving. The problem is, I find most people deserving. And it’s with this the trouble begins. 

Reviews

[Lalochezia]

Interesting variation of style: sophisticated, then colloquial with the occasional profanity mixed in.
The short sentences truly convey the atmosphere of those mornings when one gloomy thought just leads to another.
I especially like the last part from a fellow sufferer of helper's syndrome - I can relate!