Raven

A Story by Boy of the red

It is the most honest thing I have ever written. It is from a dream that haunts me on bad days

I cower in fear

In sorrow

In the shadow of the raven.

Crowned to rule over me.

His wings filled with the neuses of people he has already collected,

Smiling, all happy to get away from this hell.

He has one left for me

And laughs at my want to take it.

Death is at my side

calm and patient, he awaits my final decision

to finally accept the rope and sore away from this place.

While he waits the raven glares at me.

Tired of waiting his silver and ruby encrusted crown gleams as if to light the way.

"the red in my crown shows the blood you have taken from yourself, the blood you took to keep your emotions at bay, the blood you took to keep me away, but my dear son it would only draw me closer, soon you will accept me and finally know no pain."

His words sound so appealing. Could I really be done with this? Leave everything behind and soar away to a better place? I glanced at the smiling corpses under his wing. My old friend is there, his scars healed, a real smile on his face.

"You see your friend, he is happy now. Do you remember the pain he was in? What society did to him? Having to cut himself over and over just to feel something! The hundreds of scars he left tattooing his body! do you see him now conor! He is happy!" the ravens voice grew angrier and venomous, "look at him now conor! Look at what I have done for him! Did you ever do this! Did you ever put a true smile on his face! No! You think you are better than him?! YOU ARE WORSE! Look at you! I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN LET YOU ESCAPE THIS HELL! I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN TRUELY HEAL YOU!" with that he screeched his terrible laugh into the air. All I can do is is cower in fear and regret. Was it my fault he accepted the raven? Could we really be together again? Then the true creation of the raven stepped out of me. "he is right, you know that conor." I had to open my eyes. It couldn't be him. Not here. Not now. Paul had come out. "for years I have witnessed what humanity has done to you. I have tried to save you again and again. Look at yourself conor." no no no this couldn't be happening. Paul had never spoken this calmly before. It was never this easy to believe him. "look at me" he said. I looked and what I saw was terrible. It was me, the only difference was the color of his eyes. Scarlet red, the color of fresh exposed blood. The Raven was behind him standing tall and menacing. There shadows engulfed me. With a flick of his wing every cut I had ever made appeared on Paul. A cruel smile appearing on his face. " LOOK AT ME CONOR! LOOK AT THE ABOMINATION YOU HAVE MADE!" he screamed, his words like icy spears. "I did not make you!" I screamed though tears. Then I felt his cold breath on the back of my neck "I am you foolish child." and I felt him comeback into me. at that moment I woke up with a shock, my nails digging into the meat of my palm. I knew what i was, There is no escaping it. I put on my old friends tie and black suit, i strong up the rope, and finally accepted the inevitable. The only difference was, I did it with a smile and no tears. my final words... "It finally ends."

© 2013 Boy of the red

Author's Note

Please ignore spelling or grammar I wrote it in a bad state and my hands were trembling.

My Review

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Featured Review

Bruce Grimes

This is interesting, but it's hard to read and here's why. if it the poem that is formatted wrong, and if it's a short story that it has some major issues they can be working through easy enough. Here's an example of one.
I cower in fear
In sorrow
In the shadow of the raven.

( Here you have three sentences. None of which say anything by themselves. However they can be made to say a great deal. You might try this)
{ I cower in fear and sorrow; in the shadow of the raven.} ( by linking these three sentences together you give this statement power; you capture the reader immediately.)
you may not know this and I didn't either until I was informed by a magazine editor from Texas that making statements all in capital letters is a bad idea. As the editor told me that's what the! Is for. Otherwise things like this
(" LOOK AT ME CONOR! LOOK AT THE ABOMINATION YOU HAVE MADE!") only serve as a distraction to the reader.
You have a strong story here that I think with a little work could prove to be a very good read; I hope this is helpful.
Martex

Posted 12 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

11 Years Ago

thank you very much

Reviews

ForeverNever

Ahh, I don't know if I can smother your comments with smiley faces because that ending is a very heavy and terrifying ending...not to say that I wasn't extremely proud of you for finishing it. I think you did a great job with this and perfectly original.

Posted 11 Years Ago

11 Years Ago

thank you baby

Angela ☄️

This poem is extremely interesting to me, I love the darkness to it.... although I do not like the ending, it is very beautiful in its own way of liking. :)

Posted 11 Years Ago

View 3 more replies

11 Years Ago

^-^ Yesh... and if I may add you are very talented with your poetic skills.

11 Years Ago

thank you very much :)

11 Years Ago

Your welcome, anytime. :D

Monster ^.^

this is... pure emotion! A classic example of a fast flowing mind that you just can't help but write it else the imagination goes away! I like that... but i guess if you are feeling better ( no more trembling hands) you could try to edit how it is formed and the grammatical glitches occuring :)

Posted 11 Years Ago

11 Years Ago

Haha thank you! I need to I know. Grammar isn't my best subject haha

Carolann Dowsett

Wow this is so raw and brimming with pain and suffering. Seems to me the devil is trying to torment you into suicide with his evil lies and deceptive ways. Stay away from him and look only to the light, there you will find the truth and freedom from the endless torments of the devil. The emotion in this piece of writing is amazing, you are very brave to have written this.