thoughts, more and more

ranting. that's all it is. read if you like. just needed some way to get it out

I keep having these... thoughts. more like ideas really. I was born a small "catholic" boy. I agreed with god cause I didn't know what was going on. when I had thoughts of boys they tried to beat it out of me. that is when it all started. why should I pay for what this f****r has supposedly made me into. those were the first. then I thought of the rest of society. why should I be muscled to be respected but not so muscled or they will think im stupid. why am I not handsome because I have red hair and freckles! why am I not happy if this life is such a GIFT! why did I have to suffer for what I thought was right! I was your son and you beat me! I am a man and you still cant show me any respect! then you wonder why I hit you. I why I punched you in your long crooked nose and I never stopped! im UNGRATFUL! I am grateful. grateful that you put me through so much s**t that I did anything I could to just make it stop. I am grateful that my last words will be goodbye and I will f*****g smile! I am grateful that I can now have a good life in acting because I had to do it my whole life. people wonder why I can do the sad, depressed, dark and insane pieces so well. well its because I don't have to act! and no brother! don't b***h to me about how I have had a better life than you cause you haven't known s**t about my life. you know what mom and dad told you. you never knew I was in the hospital for four weeks cause I begged them to let me just die! you don't know all the beating not just from you but from f*****g everyone! I am sorry I cant b***h to you like you do to me! this world of ours is fucked in the head...or maybe I am. I see no reason to wear a tie or say swag and yolo. I don't want to wear a suit everyday and no my pants not going below my a*s doesn't mean I cant beat the hell out of you. just because I have so much anger doesn't mean I am a monster. nature, music and the like are beautiful to me. so what am I?

Reviews

[Angela ☄️]

You have so much ANGER pent up inside of you... Your a beautiful person, it's been awhile since I've read your Poetry.. But I could see you writing some amazing stuff with this anger, use this to your advantage hunn. Best wishes! :)