Please forgive but don't forget

My heart hurts to even begin

but somewhere within I know this is right. 

I have made many mistakes before, some not so pure

but my experience as a parent, only grows as I age. 

Now my head pounds, my heart trapped in a cage of pain and misery. 

This choice is not easy, and with tears falling from my face, I feel more than queasy.

I didn't mean to hurt those I did. You most of all. I hid the realization from everyone

and prayed that when the time come, I would be strong. I could never be more wrong. 

They say it's easy to let go. Just sign the papers. Don't get attached. 

Will I be able to let go? Can I look you in the eye after everything, and then hand you away?

I want to believe I can, but then I'm afraid. I'm afraid you will not grow to understand

Or you will grow to resent me. Know I make this decision out of love

I carry you now, but soon you will be gone. 

I will hand you away to a better home, where you will be happy

While I may cry, and plead with God to forgive me, but will you?

Will you understand? An uneasy decision,

but one I had to make. In anything you learn...

Please forgive, but never forget

Author's Note

Strong words, not very "poem"....

Reviews

[Neville]

forgiveness is the greatest gift one can possibly give ... forgetting though is another matter entirely ....... N :)

[Hayllie]

Thank you so much! Yes forgiveness is always a gift even if it's hard; but no matter what you can never forget...

[light and ashes]

A poignant piece...takes me back to when I was sixteen and my mom told me she had to get a divorce from my father..it was difficult as hell..but I understood. I was very mature. I'm not gonna lie though. It didn't keeping it from hurting.

[Hayllie]

Very true..for me writing helps me through my troubles

[light and ashes]

Me too.....

[Fabian G. Franklin]

This is good writing. I think you could leave out the word "but" entirely from the fourth line from the bottom
As for the actuality of the circumstance, I've been in similar but different choices. My wife had lost two babies in utero from her first marriage before she met me. The doctors said she could never carry a child to term and any later pregnancy would have to be "discontinued" or aborted. At the age of forty-five she had completely given up hope of ever becoming a mother. And the fact made her very sad. She always loved kids..but only other people's. Then, when we became pregnant, the doctors warned of complications that would put her life at risk. They told us our child could suffer deformity if born and that aborting the fetus was our best option both for her sake and the sake of the unborn child. I told my wife that this child was a gift from God and we would face whatever came together. At the age of 46 my wife gave natural birth to a healthy baby girl and I was there, helping deliver her. I was the first person to touch her outside the womb and helped clean her up right after delivery. I held her as the placenta was removed by the midwife and clamped and cut the umbilical. It was the most beautiful experience ever in my life. Our daughter is now five and I'm entering my sixties. I might not be here to see her grow up. But I'm here now and she knows just how much she is loved. In fact, she just crawled off my lap from getting her shoes on. She is beautiful, smart, talented and artistic (loves to draw and color and sing and dance) and she's a constant source of joy in my life. My wife has the little girl she was told was "impossible" and she is the mother (TWO separate obstetricians) said she could "never" be. That's our true story. I have another daughter (by a previous marriage) that turns 36 this year. And I have two beautiful grandchildren from her. So my five year old is the aunt of a four year old. (ha) Nothing is ever too late in life for love and faith. Bless, F.

[Hayllie]

Such a beautiful and inspiring story you shared! Thank you for that and your kind review

[Fabian G. Franklin]

My pleasure. It's not only good to "keep the faith". Sometimes, we need to spread it around. ;) Bless, F.

[Coyote Poetry]

Never easy to say goodbye.
"Will you understand? An uneasy decision,
but one I had to make. In anything you learn...
Please forgive, but never forget"
I understand the above lines dear Hayllie. Our final words open the door to a waterfall of tears. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Hayllie]

Many painful tears, but maybe some good can come from their fall..Thank you so much!

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed the poem dear Hayllie and you are welcome.

[Hayllie]

Thank you..I have added a few more this morning if you get a chance..I seem to like writing very emotional poems for some reason lol

[John the Baptist]

People put children up for adoption for many reasons. Let none who has not been in that situation condemn them out of hand.

[Hayllie]

Very true...thank you!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this one wrenches the gut...to carry to term for a mother to do that and then feel she has to give up the child for adoption. Can't imagine being in that position.
a moving write.
j.

[Hayllie]

Thank you so much!