Treachery

i just wrote this for homework.

My mind is like a puppet master, playing my left to right.
However, now things are clear.
The passion has fled into the night,
The fact that it wont be back is not a fear.
The winter, cold and bitter,
Yet beautiful in its own way.
The leaves have fallen and withered,
And I note the time that is day.
My mind may deceive me,
But I wont have it so.
My heart is unleashed and free,
Yet so young, it is caught in a stream that run to and fro.
But when I compare winter to the wickedness of mind,
I am compelled to say that the former is divine.

Author's Note

any mistake that you could find

Reviews

[dixie]

fantastic!!! very intrique in detail. the last lines i must say are the best!!! wonderful, strong ending. it completes it well. honey a grammer mistake is nothing compared to the heart you put into this piece. we all have those. lol !!! keep writing. id like to read more
your welcome to tread through my writings.... :)
~Dixie~

[Kennedy]

that's pretty good. it flows very well and is nicely, but not overly detailed. even just for it being homework, that was pretty fantastic :]

[Austin Smith]

I agree with dixie. This poem was very good, and any grammar mistake (of which you had only 1: Tallulah pointed it out) would probably not be noticed. Excellent write!

[Jason]

This captures artistic beauty in it's more pure form. I love the way it flows from the beginning all the way to the end. You have a true raw talent to grasp the purest points of passion and emotion in it's finest and put it into words, creating a wonderful work of art. This is something to truly be proud of right here....And is something I really enjoyed reading. Thank you for sharing.

Jay

[Tallulah]

Amazing work. I love it. you did a fantastic job on this. the only mistake i found was run shound be runs but other then that great job.
Last 2 lines are my fave.