Castaway

I’ve always been a castaway

Hurt and abandoned by anyone who crossed me

My family couldn’t understand why I’m this way

I am a child of chaos

My heart was unruled

Uncontrolled without a purpose

Without love…

I was to be a soldier without a cause

I sought for peace

Only to be betrayed by a “friend”

My rage never ceased

For ten years…

I thought it good to end it all

Or to leave everyone

Surely no one would remember me.. Or care to tell

Then there was one

One who I had ridiculed

One who showed me kindness unjustified

One who was like me

She was a jade in a field of thieves

She was hurt in so many ways

The blood on her arms…

Cruel undeserved words from other people on many days…

I grew to love her every day.

Her blue eyes and beautiful hair

Every time I was hurting…

She was there

I could trust her.

Then because of her, I cried…

I have to leave her

It kills me every night.

I hurt her

I made her hate me

It felt like a curse

To hear her say that.

I worry I might lose her…

Like I’ve lost my other friends

I want to keep her near

To comfort her

It kills.

The feeling when you want one person

And no-one else

But no matter what, it seems impossible.

Author's Note

This is my first time posting on here so...