Not Transference!!

A Poem by Bonnie Paige

Hush! Hush! The cloud of years gone by had lifted.
Sshh! Sshh! I need to hide my secret away, feelings so overwhelmed.
Help! Help! My brain swirling as catatonia symptoms remind me, I've been here before.

Time starts passing as the shock begins to settle, is it really true?
My glow - shining brightly!

Demons from my past rising to gentle surfacing waves as the oncoming tidal wave roars in. Oh no! Not again.
I'd remain ok without…as I live inside my empty, loveless, free life.

I Take clear deep breaths having come so far. Questioning? Can he still heal my fervency of mind?
Still, agony continues to grow. Will my glow shine through from my heart?

I can't allow! the law won't allow,! he will not permit! Discovery! Will it close the door to my safety zone?
It ain't easy working to hide what makes one glow. Like the virus of this modern world it SPREADS...stealing any self control.

My trust is him, my trust is deep, my trust has brought the sun out warming my frozen heart.
It just ain't easy to feel the sensation of love again.
When his help to remain earthly means so much.