Skeleton Poker

The undead play card games to win in, let us say, unconventional ways.

 

Skeleton poker, which hand will you draw?
An Ace and a Queen for you aren't in store,
You sir have an 8, and a diamond of three,
So perhaps no win amongst the dead will there be,
 
But all is not lost! My dear, squishy friend,
The skelebobs can't bluff, and there's your happy end,
To this macabre game of cards and bones,
And mindless yet playful undead drones.

So you may yet find, that threes are quite good,
And an eight is an Ace in a slightly veiled hood.
As this whole game, that a skeleton will play,
Is hampered by their illiterate and boney brain,

So lie that you have a King and a Jack, And they will not tell!
Apparently bluffing is not taught in hell,
Every time the skeletons fold, you'll win more cash,
But now it occurs to me that you should perhaps dash,

As everyone knows that skeletons are evil,
And this card game is, to be honest, scarecely believable,
Plus didn't the devil recently decree,
That skeletons should be as sly as can be?

Too many people were becoming wise,
To skeletons who wished for their early demise,
I think I remember something they said,
About trapping the fools with card games instead,

Then killing them nastily, and turning them too,
Into an undead scoundrel, who'll then join their crew,
This leaves you in a spot of bother, my friend,
And I do wish that I had a weapon to lend,

But the skeletons convinced me to lure you here,
And they said that your winnings I could use to buy beer,
So try not to scream too loudly, good chap,
You might wake the neighbours, and we wouldn't want that.

After all they're hopefully playing next week!
And i'd rather not of this event to them have to speak,
For as these good friends of mine continue with their slaughter,
I'd like to use a bone of mine on their 18 year old daughter.

Long story short, if you play this game,
Do as I did and perhaps you'll remain,
So to outlive these villains and go back to the pub,
It's best that, if possible, you draw a club.

And then hit them with it.

Author's Note

It's a quick piece, it took me under half an hour, so I know it's not comedy gold. Hopefully it got atleast a smile out of someone. And yes, it's immature, alas, so am I.

(I'm also aware that 'play' doesn't rhyme with 'brain', obviously. But it's close enough to be overlooked I thought, atleast for a first draft of a very quick piece)

Reviews

[R J Askew]

I like it as it is witty. I liked these lines as it was as if the game was taking over from the macabre players: So you may yet find, that threes are quite good,
And an eight is an Ace in a slightly veiled hood.

OK you cld work on it a bit, tighten it. But I do like it. I also started thinking towards the end what the skeleton might think about the human player, as the skeleton has the ultimate dead pan expression. So I go into it.

[Cindy Marietta]

Haha, this was really cool to read. Kinda' a bizarre idea, I like it! Really funny and lightened my mood :)

[Linzey]

I really like this piece. I think that it's strong in imagery when it comes to playing card games and the ending is something you at first don't expect. Yes, it needs some work, but as you said it is only a first draft. I think if you explain a little more by adding stanzas between the addition of a human player and how the friend lures him there will give the reader a better understanding of what's going on.