Me D****t

The stuff God has to put up with...

                “Me d****t!” a deep ominous voice cried, “Those monkeys are doing it again!”  The being put Its worn lamentful face into one of Its large world-crafting hands.  The heavens trembled as the being shook Its head from side to side in disappointment.  “Get in here Gabriel!”  Within seconds an angel glided to its master’s chamber, a one room study located atop the highest cloud. 

                “Yes Lord?” the angel struggled to hold in a laugh which was now bubbling through mischievous lips.

                “What in My name did you tell them this time?”  The large Being was obviously irritated as this was not the first time an angel took it amongst itself to go to the world of apes and stir up some trouble using its master as justification for acts of ludicrosity.

                “Oh,” pffm, “nothing Lord.”

                “Gabriel!  Look at them!  They’re walking around with signs saying I hate f**s!  And those monkeys over there!  They’re saying I want to kill followers of Muhammad, and the others saying I want to kill followers of Christ!  This is worse than the time you and Michael wanted a swimming pool.  It took forty f*****g days to even find the spigot you were using.”

                “Now hold on a minute!  You made Michael a model ship for his birthday and I wanted to give him a place to play with it.”

                “You almost killed all my creatures.”  Gabriel let out a solid belt of a laugh as the Being's brow furrowed with annoyance.  It was then that a group of naked apes were putting together a book burning in protest of new ideas that challenged those of the church.  “Look what they’re doing!  Ever since you went and told them that I sent my son as a sacrifice for their sins they’ve been acting like bumbling fools… that is more so than before.  What did you tell them?”

                At this point Gabriel could no longer hold it in.  The laughs erupting from his most inner of insides rivaled the giddiness of a child who had first witnessed the sneezing of a dog.  “Gabriel!” the Being’s powerful voice roared tumultuously, but had no effect on the artful angel.  Gabriel was now rolling as Lord tried to get its attention.

                “I’m sorry,” between eeps of laughter Gabriel began to regain enough control to speak, “I’m sorry, but this one is good.  Alright get this,” the angel was now sitting up, “I told them that all they had to do to get to Heaven was ask for forgiveness.”

                “Forgiveness for what?”

                “Anything!” Gabriel was back on the floor, rolling gleefully with unbridled joy.

                Eternity:  it wouldn’t end soon enough.  But it was to be that beings without an end would always find ways to entertain themselves.  Promises of heavens and riches to lower beings seemed to be the most accessible form of amusement for the time being, and the angels were going to ride it out until said beings died off or something better came along.  Though poor Lord suffered through their puckish ways, it would, from time to time, crack the most restricted of sincere smiles, and It knew that It was right in creating the world of apes in which angels could play.

Author's Note

Comments of all sorts appreciated :)

Reviews

[Marie]

This is good and funny. I've written whimsy like this from time to time. Haven't had many readers though.

[kylejacobson]

Thanks for the comment. I'll have to check out some of your writing when I get a chance. I like the idea that something like this can be potent as well :)