Born In Increments

Thoughts on how life progresses and ends....

Pain and screams, nine months in dreams

Held tucked away alone in a bubble

Hearing sounds voices, argument of choices

Suspended by a single chord of trouble

The contractions cries, the breathing sighs

The passage gateway to hell opens

Quickly rush and turn, slipping out the urn

Behold the light shines on me to bright

Swept away by human hand, a towel I will land

Wiping clean dirty debris left from life

Tears falling of joy, look I am a new toy

People grabbing eagerly to hold me

Time is passing by, in growing up I try

Lessons taught by people blind

Now a teen not in youth, taking tests in a booth

Mathematics that really won't apply

My adult hood strikes, the road has spikes

Depression grips my soul

Lots of wrinkles stay, hair has turned to gray

My body longs to return to youth

My body now lays still, life lost its thrill

A coffin I will stay

Reviews

[Autumn Lyric]

beautiful and sad portrayal of life in its joyful and detrimental states...

the elation and pangs of the maternal bonding before, during and after the birth; the ordeal of struggling with the in-betweens of just staying alive in efforts to reach adulthood, and all the time trying to flee from the inevitable, aging and death.

Your first four stanzas appealed to me very much, the word usage most creative and descriptive. the entire work is full of imagery and flowed with each progression...Nice work here! - LHh

(Re: Born In Increments)

[Bohrium Guy]

Thank you, my thought was to best show the increments and my thoughts throw the stages. I really appreciate your input and review. Thank You!!

~Rob~

[Autumn Lyric]

You are most welcome...:)

[Bohrium Guy]

My typing on the other hand.... LOL

[Autumn Lyric]

LOL, no worries...you can always edit/polish your work later (spellcheck, etc)...personally, it did not detract from your writing intentions; you conveyed the work very well to your audience.

[Bohrium Guy]

Thanks again... I get fearful sometimes... ONLY SOMETIMES LOL

[Emily]

I really like your wording!
Keep on writing!!

[Bohrium Guy]

Thank you Em!

[Rose Jaeger Kaneki]

wow, very beautiful poem, my friend!!! I love this poem! Keep up the beautiful and amazing work!!!!!

[Bohrium Guy]

Thank you!

[Rose Jaeger Kaneki]

welcome!! congrats on the new badge!!!

[Bohrium Guy]

Just figured it out hahahaha

[Rose Jaeger Kaneki]

i see,hahahahahahahahaha, lol