When No One is Looking

Don't look away when others are struggling to stay afloat.

When no one is looking
I like to bite my tongue
To feel the bitter sting
Of copper on my gums
When they glance aside
To more important matters
I re-assemble my insides
So they don't hang in tatters
When they turn away
I clench my fists so tight
So my mouth won't run astray
And cause another fight
When they carry on
As though nothing is amiss
I know that they are wrong
But I can't tell them this
When no one cares to ask
Where I have spent my nights
I just joke as I pass
That I am still alright
When they like to pretend
That nothing's ever wrong
I reach, desperate, for a friend
But no longer belong
When no one's nearby
To see just what I do
I cope with this life
How they've been taught not to
When no one is looking
I take what I can find
And bring it down to my skin
After time and time and time
When they don't care to see
How gingerly I move
I grin unpleasantly
And pick at all the grooves
When they disregard
All sorrow that I have
My tools dig extra hard
To try and force a laugh
When you started looking
At what no one cared to see
You were always staring
At the darkest parts of me
When you didn't want to hide
From all I had to reveal
Floodgates burst and I cried
With nothing left to conceal
When you look straight at me
And tell me I am brave
I don't want to believe
That I can really be saved
When you smile hopefully
Reaching for my hands
Saying 'I'm with you now'
At last: someone understands.

Author's Note

A simple 'how are you today' or 'I admire you' can mean more to someone then you could imagine - so get talking to people! :p

Reviews

[Érenn]

I think I have learned a few things here. Yes the poem has left an impression, but I think it's the way you have used your rhymes that has made this read even more enjoyable. So I think i will take this poem as a reference to how not to make rhyme sound forced or just for show in the poem. I will end up reading this one time and again, because i think, it's a good thing to remind myself of these thoughts you expressed here from time to time. ^^

[Blysful]

Thank you - I'm humbled that you liked it so much :) poetry doesn't always have to flow though, depending on the content of the work - it just happened to work for this piece :)

[The Realist]

whoa, beautifully written Blysful :) Cant wait to read more like this!

[Blysful]

Haha, thanks so much! I'll be sure to write more whenever I can :)

[Misphit]

You managed to write a piece that flows so easily on the tongue, I read it silently at first then aloud to enjoy the rhyme you composed flawlessly...Many people try to accomplish this kind of write but finding words that correlate isn't an easy feat, especially when dealing with so many lines in your structure.
The poem itself is relate-able, refreshing and true to form....a mesmerizing masterpiece!
I use rhyme quite a bit in my writing and many people think it's too cliche'...but I love it and will continue on...and so should you. Your talent is evident and your descriptions vibrant....Bravo my sweet!! Bravo!!

[Blysful]

Thank you so much! I seem incapable of writing a poem that doesn't rhyme, so I'm glad to hear that you think I'm good at it :D I hoped that the easier it flowed the more effort the reader could put into feeling, and I'm very happy that it seemed to work! Thank you again for this review :)

[Babypax]

These piece is so relatable to me. I couldnt stop reading. Really great job.

[Blysful]

Thank you - I hope someone understood you when you needed it too :)

[Efflorescence Honey]

Awe, how beautiful :( I love this piece a lot!
I actually went through those sort of things and have done this and that to myself. I didn't have someone to come help me though, but that was alright because I saved myself! :D Again, I really loved this.

[Blysful]

Thank you so much, and I'm sorry no one helped - but you are truly an inspiration for pulling yourself through it

[Efflorescence Honey]

You're welcome, and it's alright. When I got through, I was welcomed by a lot of friends and family!

[Blysful]

I'm so glad! It's always wonderful when people realise that they're not alone :D