March 13, 2016

sitting here

alone in my mind

swelling fear

as i start to decline

i cant stand it

a raging war

i think i've been hit

bleeding on the floor

aching chest

consuming despair

i'm trying my best

to even care

i'm falling fast

what do i do

i can't last

uncertain i'll pull through

arms screaming

for another kiss

slowly bleeding

drifting off in bliss

refusal of assistance 

i just don't want it

if i have to i will distance

for regardless i am unfit

Reviews

[V]

I like raw thought as you stated below. It's candid and straightforward. I'm also into fragmented style writings such as this one. The last line really got me.

[SleeplessVolcano]

I' would suggets that "drifting off into bliss" captures it better than the "to" only.....

You captured that longing of a soul fed-up with this life so well. Inbetween the darkness, there is even, maybe deep between the lines, a "happy" hope that the end may be near.......and then those momentary positive thoughts are smmothered again when one sobers up to the reality that it was not life which inspired, but death.

Go deeper. The inspiration only increases.

[Blut Gemalt Rosen]

most of these are actually written and published on-spot. so what you readers get is pretty much raw thought. honestly never know how to think when someone tells me they like my poetic brain vomit. heh..

[SleeplessVolcano]

Yeah.....i write like that too.....on-the-spot inspiration.....but i have learned to treat my initial "rambling" as a work in progress, and to ponder the style and content of the poem a little bit more intellectually helps to elevate my writing a little bit......

Good is often the enemy of great, the clever people say.....